The Ten Stages Of Being In The Empire State Building

You thought going to the empire state building would be all fun and games?

Holy shit this is gona' be freakin' awesome!

Frustration-2

Happyness-8

Tourism-3

People scowling at you-1

Holy crap look at this! There's American flags super glued to the walls! There's a giant gold painting of the Empire State Building! There's holy blue beams of light shooting out of the wall!

Go America!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bonus- You're about to have the greatest experience of you're life!!!!!

Ohhhhhh...........

Frustration-7

Happyness-2

Tourism-0

People scowling at you-4

Yeah, you knew this would happen at some point. There had to be some huge line to ruin your mood.

You probably expected to travel like this after you saw the lounge

So, yeah it's just as bad as you think it is. You can't (accidentally) look at or touch someone without them glaring at you. I think it takes an hour but I started to get delerius after the half hour mark. The stupidest part is that they have unnessacerily thick glass so you can't take pictures. Did I mention it's the second floor?

my picture of....New York?

Bonus-Well the worst part's over right? RIGHT?

Here we go!!!

Frustration-0

Happyness-9

Tourism-0
People scowling at you-4
Going up!! Ha, I'm funny. and optimistic. I'm gonna be In the clouds, On top of the world!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bonus- On top of the world!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Frustration-10

Happyness-0

Tourism-0

People scowling at you-6

W W WHAT THE FUCKIN' FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!

How is this physically possible!!!!!!!!! Is this seriously, wait, is there another employee up selling somthing? MAPS?!?!?!?!?! Is there seriously someone up there selling maps? Why don't they just say FUCK YOU over the intercom?

Bonus-Bonus?!?!?! WHERE THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?!?!?!?!

WHEN IS THIS GOD DAMN LINE GONNA BE OVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Frustration-10

Happyness- -1
Tourism-0
People scowling at you-7

\

Fuck off dude I don;t want any maps!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bonus-There is nothing good my freind. There is nothing good.

Really? Stairs?

Frustration-5

Happyness-2

Tourism-0
People scowling at you-5

Like this, except longer, and dirtier.

Why the hell are we taking stairs? why not have them on the same floor? Or just have it on the SECOND FLOOR!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bonus- I would say we're gonna get there next, but a salesmen could still come in the elevator and obstruct us.

HOLY SHIT IT'S FUCKIN COLD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Frustration-8

Happyness-2

Tourism-9
People scowling at you-9

Oh my god I'm here!!! I'm walking towards the door.I'm about to open the door. I'm opening the door and....

But instead of an army man, it's New York.

Imagine being evacuated after some massive disaster. now imagine it's 32 degrees and 1050 feet in the air. You may get a few blurry pictures while trying to jump over people. Even if you get to the the side you'll have someone trying to get a piggyback ride from you.

there, I just saved you several years of your life.

Bonus- Well, here it is. ARE YOU HAPPY NOW!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!??!?!

SWEET JESUS LET ME OUT OF HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!

Frustration-10

Happyness-0
Tourism-3
People scowling at you-10

In order to get to a spot where you can see anything you have to get deep, deep, DEEP into the hoard to see of the edge. you see that railing right there on the very side? That's the only one (I think). Notice how there's a thick immovable line obstructing average joes from seeing anything. The only way to see anything is to not only go on the opposite side, but to go further. So, if you think about it, you're chances of getting back inside before getting hypothermia are in the negatives.

Bonus- If you see an opening, run. RUN.

Wow

Frustration-0

Happyness-11

Tourism-0
People scowling at you-1

Wow, I have no comment. There's no one here, you'd think you went the wrong way. It's like going from American to Mexico. No one cares if you go THAT WAY.

Bonus-ESCAPE ESCAPE ESCAPE

You want me to be a tourist? FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK YOU!!!!!!!

Frustration-0

Happyness-10

Tourism- -1
People scowling at you-10 (if you do it right)

Now that I'm going down stairs they expect me to play tourist?

Bonus-When you leave, be sure to slap em' up a little

It's evil. EVIIL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!