Matthew McConaughey

Recently the Cracked.com investigative team uncovered the following recipe on the set of the newest Matthew McConaughey blockbuster: "We're Opposites, Let's Wear Revealing Clothing and Argue Then Make Up"*. *working title

Just The Facts

  1. Matthew McConaughey is one of the highest paid leading men today and has routinely churned out (mostly formulaic) box office hits.
  2. Nobody is exactly sure whether they love or hate Matthew McConaughey, but everyone is sure that they do in fact either love or hate Matthew McConaughey.
  3. No actor has ever turned into a parody of their most famous character to the extent that Mathew McConaughey has turned into David Wooderson.
  4. Whether this is a good or a bad thing has yet to be determined.
  5. Matthew has a brother named Rooster. This is not important for any reason other than everyone should be aware that there is a man named Rooster McConaughey in the world.

Cracked on Matthew McConaughey

Matthew McConaughey has climbed his way to near the top of the leading man pile in Hollywood. At any given time there are only about 10 actors that will be given leading roles and be expected to carry the movie. Right now Matthew McConaughey is one of those guys.

Acting Career

The types of movies Matthew McConaughey has appeared in have been completely varied. He's been in comedies, romantic comedies, suspense, action, and even kids movies. Despite the wide range of movies he has played the same role in every one of them.

Good Roles

Dazed and Confused - David Wooderson

Mathew's first big role. It could be argued that no one has ever nailed a role as hard as Matthew McConaughey nailed the role of David Wooderson. If he would have disappeared after this role the world would have thought that we missed out on 20 years of genius. For those out there that loved this role and would love to see it again, just watch any interview with Matthew McConaughey as he inevitably falls into his Wooderson character at some point.

A Time to Kill - Jake Brigance

When the director says "make a lawyer face", Matt makes a fucking lawyer face.

Another one that was right in his wheelhouse and he knocked it out of the park. Although he basically plays the part of: "If Matthew McConaughey went to law school", he does it well and even has a scene where he cries. And it is fucking believable.

Formulaic Roles

Matthew McConaughey has also appeared in a ton of movies that all basically follow the same plot. Here is the storyboard for 6 of his highest grossing movies.

Don't think that the formula only applies to the movie itself. Even the movie posters for each of these roles are virtually identical as was expertly portrayed in the Daniel O'Brien article: Matthew McConaughey's Next 10 Movie Posters.

j.k. livin

Matthew McConaughey isn't only an actor. He also has his own company that he is really proud of called "j.k. livin". That stands for "just keep livin" which, according to his website, is also his mantra and his permanent state of mind. According to Matthew the name "j.k. livin" was taken from his famous line in "Dazed and Confused"; "You just gotta keep livin' man, L.I.V.I.N.". So to recap he took what might be the most stoner line in a movie about stoners and made it his life mantra. We like to think alternate realities exist wherein Matthew McConaughey is living his life based on the mantras "I love them redheads!" or "That's what I love about these high school girls, man. I get older, they stay the same age.".

Daphne works for either alternate reality

It isn't really clear what exactly j.k. livin does but they have made some movies with awesome titles like "Hands on a Hardbody" and "Surfer Dude", and there is some sort of a charitable aspect to it as well. Besides that it seems like it is Matt and his buddies excuse to go to some office everyday that is filled with weed and video games. Then they balance the books every once in a while and say "Shit. We are almost out of money. Matty....go make a movie with Kate Hudson or something....we need 20 mil to keep this place goin.". And if that is what this company is (and it is), then it might be the best use of fame and money that we have ever heard of.