The Sandlot

The Sandlot is that movie you watched as a kid that convinced you fucking with your neighbor's English Mastiff wouldn't end in horrible bloodshed just as long as you had on a pair of PF Flyers.

Let's hope they decide this rumble with knives, or bats, or something. Everybody knows fat kids can't dance.
Let's hope they decide this rumble with knives, or bats, or something. Everybody knows fat kids can't dance.
Before she was Marley Shelton, she worked full-time as a boner fairy.
Before she was Marley Shelton, she worked full-time as a boner fairy.

Just The Facts

  1. The Sandlot takes place in Los Angeles, back in 1962.
  2. Most of the movie is about a group of kids trying to get an autographed Babe Ruth baseball back from a dog that lives on the other side of their sandlot.
  3. Kids back in 1962 were both way smarter and way dumber than they are now. Seriously guys, just throw a piece of meat to the other side of the lot and wait until he fetches it.
  4. For-ev-ver! For-ev-ver! For-ev-ver! For-ev-ver!

Oh, wait...they are real people. Well, where the f*ck are they?

This

oughtta do it. We at Cracked.com have always maintained that Kirste Alley is underrated.

Awwww God Damnit...

That's right. Sequels, bitches! BAM! Back in 2005, some genius thought it would be totally geniusy if he produced another movie about kids playing baseball in Los Angeles a long time ago. In this straight-to-DVD gack, though, the year is 1972. Ten years later, and still no Mexicans. What we do have, though, is Johnny Smalls, the little brother of original gomer Scotty Smalls. We never saw the movie, so we're just going to assume Johnny challenges Travis to a friendly game of "Who can kill Old Yeller faster?", wins, and finally realizes baseball is boring as sh*t.

But wait, they weren't done yet. In 2007, The Sandlot 3 came out. This one featured Luke Perry (yep, that Luke Perry) as some dude who travels back in time to play baseball, find the meaning of life, and probably get a ball back from some dog.