Saw
Six movies and a videogame into the franchise, and nobody still has any idea what the hell is going on.
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Cracked on Saw
Saw is about a guy, John Kramer, who is dying... or dead or something. In the beginning, after failing to kill himself, he decides he would probably be better off killing others. He becomes so content with this idea that--even AFTER dying--he continues offing people for three more movies and a videogame. His kills thus far include his hot assistant, a couple of doctors, one of the movie's writers, two guys from Lost, one the the New Kids on the Block and a cop who is getting too old for this shit.
The movies are notorious for their sick, twist endings, that creepy little puppet and a total lack of a coherent storyline.
i lost interest after watching the second film SAW sucks
ReplyDidn't he die at the end of the first one? In that car? From cancer or something....
ReplyRegardless of whether or not someone likes the Saw series, it did have a coherent storyline. Just because someone is not smart enough to figure it out or to understand what is going on in the movie, that doesn't mean the storyline didn't make sense. Seeing people describe the plot and try to make it sound illogical just makes me roll my eyes. Like in this article, "In the beginning, after failing to kill himself, he decides he would probably be better off killing others." That's not what happened at all. Why don't you try watching one of the movies instead of skimming wikipedia? It might give you the opportunity to know what the heck you're talking about and maybe make an actual joke too!
ReplyAlthough I guess if Saw was able to appeal to people at that level of intelligence, it wouldn't have enough intelligence to entertain me...
I...uh...I-I feel like half the article got up and wandered away...what happened? Is it not loading? Is it not loading because I don't want it to load?
ReplyThis is some s**t from, like, the Matrix. Except not.
"Bum a Guy"? I don't remember him doing tha... oh "BURN a Guy". It says "Burn". Sorry.
ReplyTo all the people that hate the Saw series: the first one was good. It's the franchise that sucks. All the sequels are terrible (ok, I stopped watching after 4). But I do beg people to rewatch the first one, it did have a storyline, there wasn't much gore, and it was just an enjoyable horror movie.
ReplyThat chart is about coherent as the Saw franchise. Heh. I love it.
ReplyUh there is definitely a storyline to saw you just have to you know watch the movies and pay attention that should do the trick. I think after seven f*****g movies Saw deserves to be credited with a storyline an damn good one at that
Reply Hide All See All 3 RepliesNo one else does.
After around 3 or so, they started getting weird. Maybe that's because they killed Lynn. Probably only person in the first 3 that I actually gave a s**t about.
Heck yeah, Saw was a great series. It had one of the best storylines ever (until Saw 3D kinda killed whatever was left). People just say it didn't make sense because they are too stupid to understand it, and they are embarrassed to admit it, so instead of saying it was too confusing, they just say it sucked.
the chart was f*****g awesome, but I wish that there would have been more information here...
ReplyPeople, make your topics longer. Spankin' chart though. Huzzah!
ReplyI will NEVER understand why anybody who isn't a serial killer/extremely violent rapist could get even a moment of joy out of this franchise...fucking disgusting.
Reply Hide All See All 3 Repliesi can tell from your name why you would even think that
I mean...Until they find the bodies, I'm not a serial killer and since I'm not a rapist and yet I get joy out of this franchise....Where does that leave me?
Even if you're hoping they survive right? "Please don't die Lynn. You won the game! Wait. No. You f*****g bitch. SHE WON THE GAME WHY'D YOU KILL HER?"
Cracked: Why must we be allowed only five minutes to edit our own comments? The mess from me below would have been far more concise and contained fewer typos had my edit actually been allowed to manifest. I can understand not wanting people changing stuff after it's already been replied to - that would cause a lot of confusion. But how about ten minutes instead of five...for the sake of quality control as a function of hindsight?
ReplyYour vanity is disturbing...
Read faster ;)
I stopped watching Saw as soon as I noticed there was a "drugs ruin your life" thing running through not just the first movie but the whole sordid franchise. That's where ya lose me. I also kind of don't find watching depictions of people getting tortured to be a rewarding pastime. it's something I find either boring or unnerving, depending on a mess of variables that aren't important...mostly because this issue is secondary. What matters is tmy inability to sit still through five minutes of any flavour of anti-recreational-chemistry sermon.
Reply Hide All See All 4 RepliesNo matter what tack is taken, no matter what the angle or point-of-view, it always amounts to the same tedious, tiresome bull-faeces that I've been hearing since I was old enough to read. The same bull-faeces I resolutely ignored as soon as I became able to conceive of the notion of swallowing something that could let someone dream while being awake. .
Some of the anti-drug rap is true. The rest is exaggerated and/or decontextualized half-truths mixed with total falsehoods, stirred into a vat of pseudo-sentimental emo-diarrhea.and heated repeatedly by hysterical nanny-gadflies fancying themselves as some sort of brave Children-Saving superheroes. The result: Griefsploitation Porridge. You can put it in an edgy horrorfilm or a church newsletter, it matters not: nothing can get rid of the taste of that nauseating glurge-goo, and no amount of packaging can hide the lurid, florid effect it has upon a thinking mind--particularly one whose thoughts have been tweaked, twirled, twisted and spun by those same Bad Things that it's railing against.
I am a drug user. For better and/or for worse. Nothing's gonna change that but my death. However soon or less-than-soon that happens...and whether or not it's induced - either directly or indirectly - by drugs. I decided quite a long time ago that what I got from drugs outweighs the various subtractions from my life that undeniably accrued from my using them...and what I've lost was mostly stuff I'd never wanted to begin with. I have a few regrets, but had I been straight all my life, I'd simply have different ones. It all adds up to a shrugfest.
The particularly irritating aspect of the anti-drug schtick that's depicted in the 'Saw' franchise is the completely flawed idea that a drug user must have a deficiency in the area of valuation of life, or else she wouldn't be a druggie in the first place. One of the characters "tested" by Saw is a suicidal "drug addict" (whose drug of choice is never even shown) who so offends the culprit that he has her fitted with an exploding face-cage that she has to open using a key that she must dig out of the bowels of her dead friend. This is supposed to scare this drug-using girl straight, or something...which is inane, since anyone in real life subjected to this would end up with their brains so PTSD-wrecked that just getting through a day without being consumed by flashbacks would be possible only with the help of about 20 Xanax and two or three gobs of strong-ass opiates.
Is Saw being anti-drug supposed to make him some sort of anti-hero? Someone who does horrible things because "that's what it takes to make people understand the importance of life"?
While there's no doubt in my mind that my addled brain would make me fail any of Saw's deranged "tests", at least I would die knowing I didn't fail to self-actualize. Because even though I do wish I'd done a few things differently (e.g. with slightly more cognizance of preparation for my future, instead of assuming "I'll probably be dead in 5/10/20/? years so just fcuk it") I pretty much did exactly what I wanted to do in life from the moment I became old enough to feel curiosity, desire and affiliation - all three of which I experienced with regard to drugs since about age 4.
Moreover, because of what I brought back from my psychedelic adventures, I'll be able to embrace death with complete equanimity. LSD taught me that those few seconds one experiences at the moment of brain-death probably determine, for all practical purposes, one's experience of "eternity". I developed a pseudo-mystical but relatively rational notion of 'heaven' that seems logical enough for me to actually be able to believe. So even though I'm an amalgam of atheist and wannabe pagan, I may manage to 'go to heaven' when I die...since "heaven" to me would be to have what WAS me dissolve into everything around me that was NOT me while I was alive. (Scientifically, that's pretty much what happens when something living dies, is it not?) Who needs a "soul' that supposedly goes around invisibly behaving like someone who's still alive? The "soul" concept stretches credibility far past the point of snapping clean off. Trying to believe something like that is too hard to sustain unless you are on a steady Kool aid diet. But I don't need to believe anything fanciful to end up in my paradise of FUSING WITH THE OMNIVERSE! (Thank you, lil' ergot alkaloid, and props to Mr. Hoffman for discovering you.) I AM HEAVEN BOUND, no thanks to Jesus or God or Allah or even the damn "spaghetti monster".
But while I'm alive, I'll remind myself that I do value it, even when I'm not high, since so many idiots seem to be determined to convince me that I cannot do so, since I'm an unrepentent druggie. At least the a*****e from Saw got what he deserved - spending the rest of his life and beyond repeating his schtick in one bad sequel after another.
Holy s**t, that's longer than the entire cracked article.
I can't believe I read that. Why?
Also: you're an idiot.
I think we can all easily blame your retardation on drugs.
.......holy shit. I don't know whether to laugh or cry, but I think I'm scared straight.
You have to have somewhat an ounce of intelligence to understand what is going on.
ReplyIt's as simple as that.
"Somewhat an ounce of intelligence" Really?
i think its more of you say you understand the movies because you want to sound intelligent.
The saw franchise is nothing but trash. Utter trash. It defies the conventions of what horror films are by being so utterly horrible, stupid and convoluted. What ever happened to good story telling while being able to scare the audience without showing everything? How can you possibly compare the works of Saw to those of Hitchcock, Romero, Cronenberg, Corman, or anyone for that matter? Saw is a money maker. Plain and simple. Dumb young kids who think theyre edgy and cool and grown up see these movies, and glorify the utter nonsense that this franchise spews out. The fact that these movies ride on the fact that the only way they will make sense is if you spend the ten dollars for each additional-shlock fest in theatres. How can you say a franchise makes cohesive sense when it cant even hold on to the same director for each movie? The directors are constantly changing and ideas are lost, creating unfillable plot holes and pretty dumb loose ends. The drug message is overblown: doing drugs does not mean you hate the value of life. Character development in these movies is horrendous: the main character hasnt changed since the first movie, except for the fact that he died. I could go on and on. But one final thought: predictably placing a twist at the end of the movie ruins the significance of a twist. You are supposed to never see it coming, you are supposed to not be trying to piece it together as to what is going to change in the movie. Saw is garbage, moneymaking filmmaking, and contributes nothing to the idea that film is an art. The franchise has set cinema back, all on its own.
I have only read somewhere between three and six articles on this site that I did not find hilarious. Whatever number it may be, this article was by far the biggest waste of time I have ever encountered. The storyline makes perfect sense to many people, so this article could have easily been summarized by saying, "I am confused by these movies, but I have to make my quota for the month, so I am going to write about them anyway. I'll just say I don't get it and include a picture."
Reply Hide All See All 3 RepliesActually I think what I wrote is officially longer than the garbage above.
"but I have to make my quota for the month" . . . ? Do you even know how this site works (topics specifically), or are you just typing random words in? By the way, if you watch all the movies (I don't know about the game) and attempt to actually lay out every event in them in chronological order and make them consistent in anyway without either resorting to time travel or "He's just CRAZY so it's OK!" then you need to report to Cambridge for your degree and honorary chair in temporal physics, because by all realistic standards, everything about this series is bullshit of the highest magnitude.
Hey if you don't get it, you don't get it. I do. I don't need to report to Cambridge either. It's pretty simple stuff, but then again I don't do drugs. Maybe that's your problem.
*Points and laughs at Wolf, for his clearly half-as*ed retort to auslander*
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hell yeah, totally agree with Atwater369 comments.
Replyloved the article too
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