Reverend Al Sharpton: Official Authority of Presidential Blackness
1. Tawana Brawley - In 1987, Ms. Tawana Brawley, a 15 year old black girl, accused 6 white men, including a few police officers, of rape and battery in Wappingers Falls New York. After a Grand Jury was convened, they determined that the girl was, to paraphrase, making shit up. The case was almost dropped until like a demented, version of Batman that can only see stark contrasts of white and black, good old Revered Al swoped in and blew the whole ordeal up into a media event. It didn't matter that the mother had admitted that she had beaten the young girl that very night, or that none of the accused knew who the girl was, for when the bat signal of a troubled black youth is shown, you can count on Al to make things a lot worse.
2. Crown Heights - What should an ambulance worry about more, a dead man or a dying man? Well according to Al, an ambulance in Brooklyn, in 1991, made the racist, despicable decision, of attending to a Jewish man who had been injured in a car accident rather than the seven year old Jamacian boy who had died in the accident. Behind Al's delusional, radical insanity, the black residents of Crown Heights for four days, during which they looted stores, chanted "kill the Jews" and even beat a few Jewish people to death. That right there, is the mark of equality.
3.. The Duke Laccrosse Players - Before ever hearing an iota of solid evidence, little Al took the word of a clincally deranged, flat broke, and most importantly, black stripper that she had raped by a couple of wealthy, white lacrosse players. The lack of any DNA evidence, including the stripper not allowing forensic analysists to properly examine her body was not enough to disuade Al from holding up his flag of justice above hundreds of scared black people who protested the lacrosse players with rallies and death threats, even after the prosecution had been dropped and the case unanimoulsy closed.
4. Monkey Political Cartoon - Most recently, Al has failed to grasp the basics of both freedom of the press and how political cartoons work. After seeing a political cartoon potraying Obama as a monkey, Al took to the streets and declared a boycott/protest of the New York Post. It can be assumed that Sharpton doesn't actually read the Post or any newspaper for that matter since he failed to notice that the Obama monkey was a reference to a recent real life monkey that had attacked its owners and subsequently been shot. Even after being directly told this fact, Al stll suffered from Whit Blindness (being so blinded by reverse discrimination that logic is cut off in the brain) and continued his protest for a week longer.
And many more... http://www.realchange.org/sharpton.htm
1. Find either a black person who has been accused of a crime or vice versa. THE DETAILS OF THE CASE DO NOT MATTER
2. Come to the defense of the black person reguardless of what the case is. Accuse the white side of racism.
AGAIN, IT DOES NOT MATTER WHAT THE CASE IS
3a. The jury, not wanting to appear racist, sides with the black person. SUCESS
3B. The jury is not mentally deficient and uses your greatest enemy, facts.
4. You FREAK THE FUCK OUT and YELL AT EVERYONE AT HOW RACIST THEY ARE, except for the black defendent/accused who has never done anything wrong, ever. The media swarms over the trial like gnats to a cat's ass and Sharpton becomes an interational sensation (for depressed, incompetetant, lazy, black people who feel all their problems are the government's faul)
5a. The Jury memebers don't want to be called racist by their neighbors and give into your demand's SUCESS
5b. The Jury has a backbone, and continues to wield your greatest enemy. Chaos ensues.
6. You COMDEMN THE AMERICAN COURT SYSTEM AND ACCUSE not just the plaintiff, or the jury, BUT THE ENTIRE GOVERNMENT AND WHOLE OF SOCIETY OF RACISM. A Mcarthly inspired witch hunt ensues in which half of the American court system is accused of racism. Al appeals to the next court.
7a. A series of spineless judges and juries fold to you like Oragami and one more violent criminal offender/ outrageous gang banger is realeased back into the world.
7b. A few sensible people left in the government see you for what he is, a narcassitic, sensationalistic, race bating, hypocritical, rablle rouser who preys on the weakness and indignation of others to elevate himself to positions of imaginary power. This has never happened.
8. Use the case to further Sharpton's power so he can blackmail corporations for things like, not having enough black people in their advertisements, or firing an incompetant balck employee.
9. Repeat the cycle every couple of years to keep up your profile
"We need an amendment that gives us the right to vote protected by the federal government and the Constitution." - after apparently skipping eighth grade history class.
"During my 2004 presidential campaign, I was fond of saying that it was high time for the Christian right to meet the right Christians." - on how much he can relate to the voters.
"I wrestled with this, even over the last few days, as I sat and stood and walked in Louisiana, where I saw people ravaged, lives torn. I thought about the fact that we need a man that's strong enough to bring us through 9/11 but compassionate enough that if Katrina hits, will make sure that poor people are not the scapegoats of a natural disaster." - as he chaefur drove him around New Orleans to stop and take pictures next to the scapegoated poor were of course, blamed for causing Hurricane Katriana.
"The real loser is Rudy Giuliani, ... We proved how out of touch he is with the voters of New York. The issues of unemployment, police brutality and the schools not working are on the front burner. You can run, Rudy, but you can't hide." - as Juliani stopped bums from filling the streets of New York City and Jackson pushed for larger welfare checks and an indefinite welfare time limit.
"If O.J. had been accused of killing his black wife, you would not have seen the same passion stirred up." - Al would later give his full support to the mayor of New Orleans who wanted "to make this city chocolate."