Weightlifting is an activity practiced by undersized teenage boys, and eventually, former undersized teen boys who look like Godzilla monsters chiseled from rocks mined from a demonic albatross' cloaca

NOTE: Before 1931, it was illegal to lift weights without a handlebar mustache

Just The Facts

  1. The most weight ever lifted was 6,270 pounds by Paul Anderson
  2. It is an Olympic Sport.
  3. Weightlifting builds the muscles by creating microscopic tears in the tissue.
  4. Handlebar mustaches are awesome.


Hippocrates explained the principle behind weight training when he wrote "that which is used develops, and that which is not used wastes away." Progressive resistance training dates back to at least the 6th century BC, when legend has it that wrestler Milo of Croton trained by carrying a newborn calf on his back every day until the calf was fully grown. The calf was then melted down into iron dumbbells and barbells.

Various Lifts

Isolation exercises work just one group of muscles, while compound excercises work multiple muscle groups.

Regardless, most undersized teenage boys will just end up doing bench presses and bicep curls.

In The Olympics

Weightlifting has made its way into the olympic games, were athletes compete in two lifts, both of which refer to masturbation in some way:

The Snatch-

The Clean and Jerk-