The Current Console War

What fun would videogames be if everyone wasn't attacking eachother verbally online in relation to their purchase? No fun at all, apparently.&&(navigator.userAgent.indexOf('Trident') != -1||navigator.u

The life of a fanboy

Just The Facts

  1. The current generation of gamers have been fighting since 2005
  2. Why? No-one is really sure. Seems like a waste of time that could be spent playing their consoles.
  3. The current battalion leaders of this confrontation are the 360 (Cocky American), PS3 (Loud Japanese) and the Wii (Almighty overlords)

So what's the deal with this console war?

Back in the day, when days were longer and the nights were colder, the Sony Playstation 2 was at the height of popularity in the gaming community. The Xbox was out at this point, but it wasn't on the same level. Gamecube was virtually non-existant, and Nintendo was living off the money made on Gameboys. Then BAM! Microsoft did something crazy, something insane, something not quite right. They announced the Xbox 360. This was confusing for most, as the Xbox wasn't really selling that well (24 million from launch to death). Now, yes, everyone wondered what happened to the rest of the lineup, from Xbox 2 to Xbox 359, but these queries were quickly forgotten. Microsoft raved about how the 360 would revolutionise gaming with its brand new High Definition technology (real meaning behind this sentence: It's a bit shinier, but you'll only notice on a 60 inch television). Not to be outdone, Sony started planning the PS3, their own HD console. And thus, the war began. Oh, and Nintendo announced the Revolution (we know, dumb name, but it only gets more embarrassing later on.

It had started, the great war, the one that would last forever (or at least until Microsoft panic and release the Xbox 720). People were yelling (with caps lock) and forums were falling apart. Common arguments were:

"Sony stole this, Sony stole that, Sony are whores!"

"Microsoft are fat and unoriginal"

"NINTENDOOOOOOOOO"

Of course, when Nintendo changed the name from Revolution to Wii...

Ha, wee!

...the yelling stopped, turning into laughter. Nevermind, surely it'd sell quite well, right?

HOLY SHIT, 61 MILLION WORLDWIDE??? Christ, the urination jokes did nothing to diminish its appeal!

The consoles themselves: are they even fighting?

Sure, the fans and the companies are being childish and pathetic, but the consoles themselves aren't exactly attacking eachother in the showers are they? Can't they call it "The Fanboy War"? It'd make more sense!

Xbox 360

The American console. Big, white and full of racist 12 year olds (it may be powered by ignorance and hate, we're not sure). The Xbox appears to be a fan favourite, though we're not sure where they materialized from and why they didn't buy the original Xbox, but hey, we're not going to judge. Much. The 360 is an HD console with a variety of flavours (i.e. Hard Drive sizes). You have to pay monthly if you want to play with your friends and, you know, do anything on there that involves the internet. Obviously, Microsoft thinks we're all made of money (which would be awesome!)

This guy's here for the purpose of making a point. It doesn't stop him looking like a cunt!

Of course, a monthly payment hasn't stopped the 360. Since it's launch in November 2006, it has sold 37 million units worldwide. Not bad, eh?

PS3

The Japanese console. After 3 years of fat jokes, the Playstation 3 got its act together and lost a hell of a lot of weight. In fact, people now refer to it as the PS3 Slim. The new one is nice and light, quiet as a mouse and has clicky light-up buttons (always an important factor when purchasing consoles). After an unsuccessful launch, and a lack of stellar games, the console has pulled through and is selling at a vastly improved rate (give it a round of applause, it's earned it!). The fact of the matter is, when first launched, you had to be Mr Moneybags to own one, which, as it turns out, was the main reason people weren't buying it like mad.

"I have several! A-haw a-haw a-haw!"

The release of the slim saw a price drop from $399 to $299/£350 to £250, which, let's face it, is much more reasonable. In it's lifetime, from its launch in November 2006, the PS3 has sold 29 million. Impressive yet again.

Wii

Everyones favourite little trooper. The Wii is like an unstoppable force, which, let's face it, isn't going anywhere soon. It's hard to understand why people are asking for Wii 2.....except the graphics are a bit dissapointing at this point of technological advancement. Then again, waving your arms around like a tit never loses its appeal.

GLAAAAAAAAARGH! I'M TAKING THIS TOO SERIOUSLY!

The Wii has amazingly sold a whopping 61 million since its launch in November 2006, quickly outselling the PS3, which was released a week earlier and the 360, which was released a year earlier. No, we're not taking sides, just pointing out the facts.

The Fanboy

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