My Letter To Santa

Dear fat son of a bitch from the middle of a godforsaken glacier, where the fuck do you get off dicking me out of my christmas joy this year?

Asshole must have been too busy dumpster diving for lottery tickets I presume

Maybe jolly old saint nick was off on a beach somewhere with some skank obviously not mrs claus

Maybe he decided a drunken stupor was more important than my happiness

Just The Facts

  1. I got no presents because santa is a fucktarded fat fuck.
  2. This angers me.
  3. The fat man is going to end up face down in a ditch.

You deserve having every single 1 of your reindeer and elves showed directly up your gelatinous ass

That right, you useless vat of stale chocolat chip cookies and out of date milk. After receiving exactly nil the past 10 years of my life, I decided on being extra nice and helpful this past year. That included straight A's in school, not backtalking any of my elders, and even the occasional helping of an elderly lady across the street. Unfortunately for myself you deemed it unnecessary to leave any present for me under my tree this year AGAIN! Mom said it must have been because of the economy of that you may had gotten the north pole repossessed. I personally think those excuses are just as worthless as your fat bearded ass. Did the elves not produce enough toys this year? Did the reindeer not fly fast enough? Did Mrs Claus not make enough hot cocoa for the trip? Well you overwieght red sack of shit, a fucking whip, bullhorn and cattleprod will solve all 3 of those problems and if you were as magical as everyone thinks you are then you would have already figured that out. You may have everyone else grinning, eating your shit and exclaiming how delicious it is, but Im on to you and I'm bringing your entire operation down. If your not making & delivering presents to kids worldwide then I'm finding out exactly what the fuck an overwieght elderly man, unlimited elve slave labor, and a stable of reindeer do 365 days a year. You will get yours fat man, oh yes the day will come when you, your family, your elves, and reindeer are all slaughtered, beheaded and the heads are stuck onto poles in my frontyard for Christmas decorations next year.Thank you for your time tubby. Marry Christimas and sweet dreams.

P.S. Sleep with 1 eye open muther fucker!