The Grinch

The Grinch is the guy that once stole Christmas. And we mean *all* of Christmas. Then just gave it all back. What a bitch. Everybody knows that The Grinch stole Christmas because he had a tiny heart, but which Grinch do you prefer??

Some prefer their Grinch animated style

Just The Facts

  1. The Grinch is a cat-like animal that originated from a Doctor Suess book in 1957.
  2. The Grinch rhymes like he's waiting to drop an album.
  3. He stole everything in a whole town using just a fucking sled and a dog.
  4. The Grinch gave everything back.
  5. The Grinch had a heart 3 times too small

Cracked on the Grinch.

The Grinch is one badass motherfucker. He grew up without any parents, in the shady part of town. He lives on top of a mountain and just hates everybody. He decided one day that the best way to get back at everyone (for what, we don't know) is to steal Christmas. Yeah, he's a real badass alright.

So the Grinch suited up in a shitty homemade Santa outfit and got ready to steal Christmas. There was no chance in hell he was going to accomplish this...... without a reindeer! So he felt that tying a horn onto his dog's head would suffice. There have been many great criminals in history, and not one of them ever thought to incorporate reindeer into their heists. We're truly talking about a genius here.

The Grinch took off into the night towards town. Let's pause for some math time here. If the population of Whoville is 200, and he's got 9 hours to steal all of their presents, how long can he spend at each house? 2.7 minutes. He could only spend 2.7 minutes at each house, and he had steal clean each house bare. And you know what?

He fucking did it.

He's a Mean One Mr. Grinch

How The Grinch Stole Christmas was directed by Ron Howard in 2000. The screenplay was adapted from The Dr. Seuss book "How the Grinch Stole Christmas" by Jeffrey Price and Peter S. Seaman.

The tagline of the 2000 movie was "Inside a snowflake exists the magic land of Whoville" . In case you either happen to be Scrooge himself or just hate Christmas because it is so commercial and materialistic, let me summarize the story for you. By the way, if you plan to Steal Christmas this may have some pointers for you.

The Grinch was rejected and ostracized by the Who's as a child and has lived in spiteful seclusion his whole life. Festering his hatred of the Who's and their favorite time of year. So he hatched a scheme to steal Christmas from The Who's so they wouldn't be so joyous any longer. There was one initial exception to the Joyous who's and that Cindy Lou Who was a bit depressed and after hearing rumors about The Grinch her curiosity gets the best of her. Cindy thinks he is a hero since he saved her from 'certain death or dismemberment'. His brilliant plan backfired because even after he stole Christmas, the Who's were still a joyous people. Cindy managed to bring out the best in everyone , including The Grinch, when she made everyone realize Christmas is about being with the ones you love, not about gifts and presents. This confused The Grinch, he didn't understand why when they lost all their gifts, presents and desserts they still sang and smiled and loved. Once he realized what love was, his heart grew 3 times it's normal tiny size. He now had the biggest heart of all. He saved Christmas and learned to live harmoniously with the Who's, especially Cindy Lou Who.

More later on the original book and the original animated classic movie.