Canadian Politics

Let's face it, politics in the U.S.A. can get pretty heated. Fortunately, there is a country where the political system isn't quite as bad; it's worse.

The next Prime Minister of Canada

Just The Facts

  1. There are more than two political parties in Canada.
  2. We are NOT still under British rule.
  3. Believe it or not, we have our own version of The Daily Show. In fact, we have two.

Canadian Politics for Dummies

In America, political races and politics in general are fairly easy to understand. The senator who gets to 270 votes first, becomes President of the United States. Seems fairly simple to understand. The Canadian way is much more complicated and harder to understand (if you're American that is). So hold on to your hats and buckle up those seat belts; it's going to be a bumpy ride.

First, let's see how the Prime Minister of Canada is elected. Let's use the current Prime Minister Stephen Harper as an example for our fantasic voyage through the Canadian Political system. On October 14th, 2008, Stephen Harper was staring down the business end of another election. Being the leader of the Progressive Conservative party, he was technically still Prime Minister at the time. His opponent was Stephen Dion who was the leader of the Liberal Party of Canada. It was going to be a tough and brutal campaign. So nauturally, the Conservatives did what any right-wing political party would do. Attack ads!

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Gee, you'd think Dion would slide into a depression after that, but he went on his merry way and soon we had the election. When electing a Prime Minister in Canada, we do it in almost the same way as the States with a few differences thrown in there for good measure. In Canada, there are people called Members of Parliment (the big building where the Prime Minister and all the other sleaze bags hang out) for every province/territory in Canada. Whichever political party whose MP has the most votes in a province/territory wins the province/territory. Simple enough right? Hey, wake up! I know this is boring but it matters to 33 million people in Canada!

"Voter turnout was the lowest in Canadian election history, as 59.1% of the electorate cast a ballot"

Godammit. Who put that quote there? Okay, it's true. Apparently, only 19, 503, 000 people cared about who was going to be the leader of Canada. Anyway, I'm too depressed to explain majority and minority government so let's just see who won.

It was Harper. I'm shocked that attack ads work so well. Receiving 143 votes, as opposed to the 77 votes that the Liberals had, made Stephen Harper keep the pretigious title of Prime Minister of Canada. All was not lost for the Liberals. They took up the mantle of Leader of the Opposition. What does that mean? Well, it means that during discussion period in the Canadian House of Commons the Leader of the Opposition gets to question everything that the current Prime Minister does. Pretty sweet, eh?

There were more parties receiving votes than just the Liberals and Conservatives. The New Democratic Party of Canada received 37 votes while the Bloc du Quebecois (Block Doo Kay-Beck-Wa) received 49 votes.

It's all over, that's basically all I can tell you except...

There were more parties invovled in this election. I'd suggest you make a pot of coffee because it's a long list:

Green Party of Canada (aka Stoner Party of Canada), Christian Heritage, Marxist-Leninist (WHAT?!), Libertarian, Progressive Canadian, Communist (again? Seriously, what the fuck?), Canadian Action, Marijiuana Party, Neorhino.ca, Newfoundland and Labrador First, First People National, Animal Alliance Environment Voters, Work Less Party, Western Block and People's Poltical Power.

Personally, I voted for the Work Less Party of Canada but it was really a toss up between that or the Marijiuana Party.