Cheese
One of the greatet inventions of all time, cheese is the reason that the world goes round, cheese is why time exists, cheese is the answer to all the world's problems.
Just The Facts
- Cheese is a food made from milk and other proteins.
- Cheese has been around since the world began.
- Cheese is the best thing ever.
A Brief History of Cheese
No one really knows where or when cheese was first created, leading many people to believe that cheese was in fact, around before the earth was. Throughout history people have tried to find the origins of cheese, many people who study the history of cheese have come to the conclusion that there must be a deity who created cheese. The people who study cheese and it's history are known as cheeseologists.
A cheeseologist and his cheese.
Many cheeseologists believe that the creator of cheese was a cheese god. It has been said that throughout history, the cheese god has appeared to people in many different forms and cheese types.
The cheese god, appearing in the form of a cheddar bear.
The cheese god has on more than one occasion come down to earth and shown someone how to create a certain type of cheese, therefore explaining how many different types there are. Many people do not know this, but the pyramids of Egypt were actually intended to be made up of cheese, but the idea was abandoned when people realized that the giant pile of rotting cheese doesn't make a good first impression on tourists. Cheese is actually the reason for all the world's wars. World war two was fought, because Hitler, who hated cheese, wanted to exterminate all the main countries that exported cheese, therefore whipping cheese off the face the earth forever. The reason he lost the war was because he did not feed him men cheese, and therefore they could not keep up their strength and eventually were beaten by the very cheesed up American army.
Celebrities and Cheese
Celebrities love cheese, and will do anything to promote it's awesomeness.
Ben stiller, promoting cheese as a cure for cancer.
Jessica Alba totally has the hots for cheese.
Some celebrities however, have been known to take their cheese loving to far.
David Hasselhoff, promoting his love for everything cheesy.
Britney Spears loves the cheese.
Cheese Culture
It is not commonly known, but you can actually get drunk off of cheese. Vikings used to eat excessive amounts of cheese before going to battle, and ninjas carry around a bag of cheese for emergency usage at all times. Also, contrary to popular belief, cheese heaven is actually in Holland, officially making Holland the most awesome place ever, because weedburgers and weedpuffs are totally legal there.
Don't you just wanna eat their heads off?
Hot chicks love the cheese, and studies have shown that men with a yellow car have been known to pickup more women than men with no car.
She wants your mouse in her cheese.
There is no such country as Holland; you're thinking of the Netherlands. Their cheese is bland rubbish except for a vintage brand of Gouda called Reypenaer which is fantastic. Especially if you have the $60 per kilo to buy some, not including S&H.
ReplyThere are only three countries in Europe which make world-class cheeses: France, Italy and the UK. Stuff like feta, churned out by the Greeks, is actually recycled parrot-droppings and should not be eaten.
/Facepalm. Your ignorance surpasses expectations! The United Kingdoms is not one country, but several! Hence the "s" in "Kingdoms". See the logic there?
There's no 's' at the end of 'United Kingdom'. It is one country with other countries inside it. It's Scotland, Wales, Northern Ireland and England United in one Kingdom
I am looking for a well know celebrity who loves cheese to interview for a consumer food magazine.
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