Mercenaries

Mercenaries are guns for hire- men (and women) who fight any war as long as the pay is good enough. You will never be a mercenary. So stop being a wuss and join the military&&(navigator.userAgent.inde

Not pictured: you

What being a mercenary is really like.  Note the douchebag sunglasses and lack of bitches.

Just The Facts

  1. Only overweight gamers and ex-military personnel want to be mercenaries
  2. Nobody wants to actually DO mercenary work but they want to tell women they are one
  3. Every video game has mercenaries in them to cater to the overweight gamer dream
  4. most actual mercenaries a seen as annoying bitches

So what the hell is an actual mercenary?

Mercenaries are private military companies hired by a country's military to do the fighting for them in places where the country doesn't want to get into trouble for being. They've been around for thousands of years.... pretty much ever since there have been national or city armies and guys on the outside looking to get some cash. Remember Blackwater the guys who made america look like a fool and totaly screwed up?, they are mercenaries. Really NO one likes mercenaries. In blackwaters case we took away their lisense to operate and the iraqi government wants them gone to. So they changed their name to Xe and faded into the background. Even long ago mercenaries were active like the hessians

http://www.battleofgrotonheights.com/images/hessian_yager.jpg

Notice still the lack of bitches.

why being a mercenary would kinda suck

Lets be blunt. Being a mercenary is almost the same as being an actual soldier exept you get bitched at more.

its like this exept afterwards people tell you to get off their property

so if you want to be a mercenary go ahead, the internet can do more but you probably not get girls and get shot in the ass. Oh and youll probably get sued more too, to add insult to injury.

Speaking of insults...

The only successful mercenaries

Guess who?

Unless you live under a rock you should know this is the A-team, probably the only successful mercenaries. And even they dont kill anyone, Really any gun battle they have NO ONE gets shot at all. So they also kinda suck at their jobs.

Really the only way a fight ends is if they shoot out your tires and they punch you or spray you with soda (seriously they did that one episode it was kida funny and also proved they were running out of ways to end a battle without someone getting shot)

then again who wants to be punched by this guy?