The Young Ones

Mike, Neil, Vyvyan, and Rick all attend Scumbag College (though they're never actually shown studying or going to classes), and share a house in North London. Rik Mayall (Rick) has opined that the four are essentially a classic nuclear family:

Mike: the stern, detached father-figure

Neil: the long-suffering, unappreciated mother

Vyvyan: the impulsive, homocidal son

Rick: the attention-starved, narcissistic daughter

 

In other words:

Mike Thecoolperson

Yep, you read that correctly.

Mike Thecoolperson (Christopher Ryan) is essentially the leader of the group, basically because he's the only one who isn't completely bat-shit insane. He is, however, almost a midget little person, and more than a little shady. He's quite the opportunist, and is always looking for new ways to make easy money. Some of Mike's schemes have included:

• Blackmailing his tutor and the Dean of the school for grants and passing grades
• Establishing a fascist coalition with Vyvyan, to force Rick and Neil to work the "oil mine" Vyvyan discovered in the house
• Attempting to sell an undetonated atomic bomb (that landed in the kitchen) to an arms dealer
• Having discovered that Buddy Holly has not, in fact, died, but has been hanging upside-down in an upstairs bedroom for three decades (subsisting on English beetles), Mike begins calculating his cut of the royalties sure to pour in from new Holly records
• Opening a roller-disco in Rick's room (complete with a bouncer, played by Robbie Coltrane)

Mike is supposedly the lady's man of the group, but is never seen with any women, save for the blow-up doll that he sleeps with. He does make the effort to perpetuate his "reputation" by scattering bras and panties around his bedroom, and making a tape of what we are to believe to be aural proof of his having a snog. The closest he gets to any "action" is when Helen Mucous (a mass-murderer who snuck into the house) attempted to smother him with a pillow. At one point in the second series, he is even forced to admit his virginity, lest he fall prey to the vampire who arrived via 2nd-class post.

Even when he's seemingly preoccupied (keeping the peace between the other three, or completely ignoring them), Mike can always be counted on for a casual double-entendre, obvious pun, or narrating his activities in the third-person.

Neil Pye

Nobody likes dirty hippies.

Neil Pye (Nigel Planer) is the pacifist vegetarian ("Vegetable Rights and Peace, man!") hippie of the four, and is the target of frequent abuse by Vyvyan and Rick. He is revealed to come from a conservative, upper-class upbringing, and is a source of shame for his parents (for starring on such a despicable show). Forced to do all the housework, as well as the shopping and answering the phone, Neil is perpetually depressed, and occasionally suicidal. Generally (rightfully) ignored by the others (unless the housework is neglected), Neil is the hapless recipient of some of the worst misfortune experienced by the group:

• When he sneezes, either an explosion occurs, or he "projectile"-sneezes lines of snot all over the place. In one instance of the latter, Vyvyan saves the day by nailing a laundry bag to Neil's head.
• When the boys run low on money, Neil is forced by the others to work (despite his "alternative lifestyle" excuse), first attempting to join the army (he gets tossed out of the recruiting office for admitting to being a pacifist), then successfully joining the police force.
• Neil dreams that the guys throw a party, which ends in a calamitous brawl, and he (naturally) receives the worst beating. In keeping with his usual luck, he wakes up from THAT dream, right before having his head kicked in by three of Vyvyan's friends
• Last in line on "bath day", Neil is forced to bathe in a thick brown muck, as nobody else has bothered to change the water in a week and a half.

Neil is not very well-liked (nobody likes emo hippies), except by his two known "real" friends, Neil (heavy!) and Warlock - who are also dirty, drug-addled hippies. Neil doesn't show any obvious interest in women (or sex, for that matter), and the closest he's ever shown to getting any action is when he's forced to use his boner to hold up a flower-pot, so he can answer the phone.

Vyvyan Basterd

Very Metal.

Vyvyan Basterd (Adrian Edmondson, billed here as "Ade") is your typical boy-next-door nihilist punk. His mother is a barmaid and former shoplifter, and has no idea who Vyv's father is. Prone to acts of extreme violence, especially against Neil and Rick, Vyvyan is the show's equivalent to the Tasmanian Devil. His pet hamster, SPG (Special Patrol Group), is often a target for his rage; at one point, Vyv even jams him in the toaster. SPG is very loyal despite this, and is even seen getting the best of Vyvyan occasionally (electrocuting him for a joke in one episode). He's a medical student, and - inexplicably - the most creative bloke of the four. He's dementedly inventive, and is known for coming up with unorthodox ways to fix things/relieve boredom/tear shit up:

• He uses a severed leg - borrowed from the morgue - as a hood ornament for his car
• Develops a potion that turns whoever drinks it into an axe-wielding maniac ("...it's basically a cure...for not being an axe-wielding maniac."), which he then hides (very inconspicuously) in a can of Coke.
• Attaches a bomb to the doorbell, because he wanted to "pep it up a bit".
• "Improves" a vacuum cleaner by adding a small car engine to it, then uses it to suck up the entire living room rug, the floor, and Neil's friend, Neil.
• When the guys run low on money, Vyvyan borrows cups of sugar from a neighbor - to burn the cups for heat.
• Pretends (with great success) to be pregnant, so he won't be forced to work

He is apparently indestructible, evident in the fact that he has had a pick-axe driven through his skull, been decapitated after sticking his head out of a train window (upon finding his head, his body kicks it around like a soccer ball), and is seen repeatedly using his head as a battering ram. He is also shown being willing and able to eat/drink anything, including the television (to avoid getting caught for not paying their TV license), and a frothy, steaming blue drink that makes his hair fall out (revealing a "666" tattoo). 

Vyvyan is shown to be somewhat interested in women, and even tries to impress a few of them at a party by showing them how many "press-ups" he can do (he suspiciously appears to be dry-humping the floor). However, he admits to being a virgin ("...unless snogging SPG counts") to escape the clutches of the vampire mentioned above.

Vyvyan beats Neil up when he's pissed off/bored, but obviously takes greater pleasure in antagonizing/torturing Rick. This may be due to Rick's hypocritical "revolutionary" posturing, or it could be just because Rick is "a complete bastard", and a "poof". Either way, it's completely justified.

See for yourself.

Rick

With a capital "P"

Rick (no last name is ever given) was played by Rik Mayall (of Drop Dead Fred "fame"), and - despite his belief that he's "the most popular member of the house" - is the least-liked person of the group. He "self-proclaims" a number of things, including:

• Being an anarchist/Leninist (depending on his needs/motives at a given moment)
• Being a vegetarian and agnostic
• Being "the People's Poet"/"spokesperson for a generation"
• Being of the working class - though it's revealed that he's from an upperclass, Conservative family (much like Neil)

Rik is studying either sociology or domestic sciences (whatever the hell that is), and is shown at the end of the series to have the lowest grade-point average of the group. He's seriously attention-starved, and tries to impress everyone (especially Mike) with his (non-existent) wit and humor. When it's revealed very plainly that the other guys hate him, he attempts suicide by downing a whole bottle of laxatives. He's extremely reactionary, and is known to throw child-like tantrums with little provocation. To compensate for his (much-deserved) emasculation at the hands of Vyvyan, Rick often verbally (and sometimes physically) assaults Neil - the member of the group least likely to retaliate. Despite being a self-absorbed "bottom-burp", Rick is occasionally shown to have a bit of a spine:

• To prevent City Coucil from tearing down the house, he ties himself to a crucifix in the front lawn, and recites an impromptu poem.
• He attempts to blackmail Margaret Thatcher into "doing something for the kids - this afternoon", by threatening to blow up England with the atomic bomb that's landed in the kitchen. Not altogether a bad plan, but he attempted to contact her by sending a telegram from the DHSS (the UK equivalent of the Social Security office).
• To protest his (and Neil's) treatment at the hands of Vyvyan and Mike's "oil coalition", he stages a worker's revolution, complete with a benefit concert in the living room.
• After Vyvyan crashes his car (in the midst of the group's bank-robbery attempt), Rick steals a double-decker bus for all of them to escape in.

Most of the time, though, Rick can be relied upon to be pretty damned naive/stupid. For example, at a party held by the boys, he mistakes a tampon for a telescope/sponge, and proceeds to dip it into someone's drink. In one episode, it's hinted that Rick might be a closet transvestite: Neil, unable to get into his own room for clothes, borrows the only thing he could find in Rick's dresser - a little blue dress, complete with his name stenciled inside it.

Because of these things, and much more, Rick will likely never get laid - at one point, he is even forced by Vyvyan to wear a sign declaring "I am a virgin". The closest this spotty bastard gets to sex is when he wakes up to find Helen Mucous in his bed (she didn't know he was there); otherwise, he masturbates to Cosmopolitan.

The Balowskis

...

The randomly-appearing and genuinely useless Balowski family (played by Alexei Sayle) usually served as convenient plot devices/bizarre distractions for the guys to deal with. The most-often-seen Balowski is Jerzei, the landlord of the house the "Young Ones" live in. Otherwise, the only other Balowski worth mentioning is Harry ("The Bastard"), who - in a convoluted scheme to make £500 - pretends to be a South African vampire to distract the guys from paying for the VCR they rented from him. The Balowskis break the "fourth wall" in nearly every appearance, and most of their rants were adapted from Sayle's stand-up routine.

 

Damned catchy, innit?

Kramer never entered this way...but he should've, dammit.

 

 

 

One of several "subliminal" frames snuck into episodes from Series 2. Collect 'em all!

 

The series ends when Vyvyan drives the stolen double-decker bus through a billboard (an ad for Cliff Richards) obscuring a cliff. Just to be sure there was no chance for another series/season, the bus explodes.