300

300 is a film rife with historical inaccuracies that only Hollywood asses could get wrong. Fuck you Hollywood!!!

I am so angry with you Xerxes that I would shit my diaper if I thought it wouldn't ruin my oiled up body

Why Do They Oil Themselves Up Before Every Battlescene?

The tagline for the movie was "Prepare For Glory" but a better one would have been "Prepare for a good oilin' bud", because of course as every Spartan fights together so to do they oil each other up for another day of fighting the enemy and posing in their capes. NO, fuck you Frank Miller that is not how it happened

"It's a good thing Leonidas oiled me up before the fight, look how buff I look"

"It's a good thing Leonidas oiled me up before the fight, look how buff I look"

Were the Spartans Incontinent?

Spartan warriors never seemed to actually wear anything other than a leather nappy. So does this mean that in the course of the training for manhood they were neglected to be potty trained or in their case latrine trained. Of course not but instead of giving the Spartans some fucking awesome armor Hollywood decided that it was better to make them half naked and constantly brushing off one another in a lame attempt to reach a broader audience. Thanks Hollywood for making this super gay!!!!

I hath killed a thousand men, but still do not posess the knowledge of using this phenomenon known as a 'latrine'

"I hath killed a thousand men but do not posess the knowledge of using this phenomenon known as a 'latrine'"

What Was The Deal With The Capes?

Why did the Spartans wear capes in every scene? We get it you look cool and awesome when you wear a cape, on occasion. Otherwise you're just creepy and obviously lacking in other clothes. And as I'm sure any Spartan will have told you a cape is never practical in a fight, especially a cape that hangs down to the floor. The Persians never wore capes and they conqured half the known world. I'm sure there was plenty of stumbling and falling over in the making of this film.

Battle Hardened Warriors or Pretty Boy Posers

If the Spartans Leonidas brought into battle were battle hardened veterans, where were their scars? If I was picking men for a near suicidal defence of the pass I would have brought the guys who had plenty of scars and were still alive ,i.e., the badass mo-fos who were at the front of the battle taking an occasional cut or two while dealing out death to the enemy. But instead Leonidas took the pretty boy posers who liked to hang out at the back of the army pulling angry faces and bloodying their swords on dead bodies in an attempt to look like they had participated in the fight, while in fact they had been oiling themselves up and telling each other how buff and super ripped they each looked