Dick Sucking

Men like it when a hot looking woman (or man, animal, inanimate object or food product) play with their penis. If they can get em' to use their mouth on it, then we're talking a good time. So purse your lips and read on for some hot, gooey goodness.

Mustache = Mouth Sex

By CoryThom

Just The Facts

  1. Getting your dick sucked is awesome. You can take that one to the bank.
  2. Not only is fellatio an important part of almost all cultures, but it dates back as far as time itself.
  3. While getting a blowjob isn't exactly the most easy thing one can do - fret not. It isn't impossible. With a little elbow grease and some quick manipulation you too can be tonsil deep!
  4. Getting your dick sucked is seriously awesome...

Blow Jobs And You: Origins

No one really knows for certain the exact origins or fellatio, or even oral sex itself. It can only be assumed that for as long as people, primitive man and some other very lucky animals have had mouths and genitals, dick sucking has taken place. It's part of the human element - and no one person can say for sure where or when it started. We at Cracked like to imagine first primitive man reaching sexual maturity, grabbing a large stick and forcing something to give him mouth sex.

Ain't shit you can do about it

Aint shit you can do 'bout it.

Although sucking dick is still taboo, and for a while was illegal in much of the United States, it's still a universal theme that spreads through all of humanity like AIDS (ironically transmittable through dick sucking). It feels good, and there should be nothing wrong with that.

There is no risk of pregnancy from dick sucking. In order for a human female's egg to become fertilized it must pass through the vagina. If for some reason any person believes there is a connection between the gastrointestinal system and a womans reproductive tract, then they may very well be retarded.

Fellatio: Rules of Engagement (for both parties involved)

If you and your loved one/s, pet, friend, prostitute, fruit product or carcass are considering fellatio for the first time - or you just suck dick at sucking dick there are a few things you should know. For example, a dick is not a toy, unless it's owner wants it to be - It needs to be treated with respect, like a stranger or the President. However, don't shy away - if a fucking bat can do it, I'm sure you can muster up enough courage to close those baby blues, open wide and take a mouthful of sweet meat for the one you love, like or just met.

Got any more excuses, my first girlfriend?

More Helpful Tips

It isn't hard to suck dick. We've seen some very awful videos convincing us of this point exactly, However it would be nice if any dick suckers out there took advantage of these various tid-bits.

1). Never Stop, just don't - If he's about to cum and you stop because you're squeamish or afraid of semen then he has the constitutional right to knock your ass out. That is a fact.

2). Fucking sheath your death fangs when you make out with dong - it hurts more than you can imagine

...Fuck...

3). And it wouldn't hurt to use your hands a little