Baconator

The tastiest sandwich known to man. Also the deadliest. Courtesy of Wendy's.

This is it.

This is a man who ate more than one.

Just The Facts

  1. I can feel my arteries clogging.
  2. Do not drive or operate heavy machinery.
  3. A single baconator is 600 calories. Put that down your throat.

Why is grandpa keeled over with his hand over his heart?

As grandpa ate his balanced complete and balanced grease breakfast, he had the urge for even more bacon. However, it was no longer breakfast time. And your grandfather, being a very proper man, could not make more bacon at such a time. So, he got in his car and ventured around, he came across a fine establishment known as "Wendy's" this 5 star establishment brandished advertisements for a sandwich comprised of a hamburger, and bacon. They called it "The Baconator"

"Surely, this isn't possible a hamburger with bacon?" grandpa thought.

He parked and sat down inside of the restaurant. After an hour of thinking about how dirty this place was, not being waited on, grandpa realized that he had to order by himself. "Ah, one of these new fangled things." so, grandpa ordered his baconator.

"This... is

HHHNNNNNNGGGGGGGGG"

Delicious

Unnutrition Facts

The only "good" thing about this is, if you were to eat a single baconator, double baconator, and triple baconator in one sitting.. you'll still be under your days calories, plus it was pretty tasty. The bad news, you just ate a single, double, and triple baconator in one sitting.

Finalize it.

So here's the facts about the death that you are consuming.

THE SINGLE BACONATOR

  • Weighs 200 grams
  • Contains 600 calories
  • Contains 33 grams of fat
  • 42 grams of Carbohydrates
  • 2 grams of baby seal meat
  • 35 grams of protein
  • 25% comprised of iron. No I do not mean daily value.

THE DOUBLE BACONATOR

  • Weighs 312 grams
  • Contains 970 calories
  • Contains 60 grams of fat
  • 44 grams of Carbohydrates
  • 10% pokemon
  • 62 grams of protein
  • 40% comprised of iron

THE DEATH (Triple) BACONATOR

  • Weighs 424 grams
  • Contains 1330 calories
  • Contains 86 grams of fat
  • 47 grams of Carbohydrates
  • 0 grams healthy ingredients
  • 5 tsp of baby blood
  • 90 grams of protein (you'll be strong and shit)
  • 60% comprised of iron.

I'll leave it up to you to guess which of those ingrediants are actually contained within the deathwich.

But cracked! It's so tasty!

We understand, it is extremely tasty, and by no means should you stop eating them anytime soon. However, most cracked readers should treat baconators like the their sex life.

  • Eat them rarely.
  • Never eat more than 1 in a single sitting.
  • Pace yourself
  • Dehydration is the enemy.
  • No means no, if the clerk says there's no more, there's no more.
  • Use protection.
  • You'll never have sex

Don't celebrities do it too?

Well, of course celebrities eat baconators. But not the celebrites that you want to be like.

Such celebrities include.

  1. Meatloaf
  2. Mike Tyson
  3. Scott Stapp
  4. Nick Nolte
  5. Vince, of Shamwow fame.
  6. Nikki Sixx (proud user of the healthier alternative)
  7. Warrant
  8. Dane Cook
  9. Carlos Mencia
  10. Pete Best
  11. Gary Busey

MMMMM BACON