Bowling Balls

Bowling balls are used in bowling to knock down erections, or pins as they are called. When not being used for this, their main purpose is to display our "giant balls." The below flow chart demonstrates how you should react to the alleys

Process of a bowling alley

Not how to use a bowling ball

Just The Facts

  1. Bowling balls were invented in the 3rd or 4th century for use in a religious ceremony meant to test the absence of sin.
  2. It is allowed by bowling law for a bowling ball to have five holes (only to increase the amount of fingering jokes.)
  3. They are the one thing you don't pay for in the whole game of bowling.
  4. Bowling balls range from 6 pounds to 16 pounds and are directly related to the size of the users (metapohircal) balls.

Other uses for bowling balls.

Bowling balls are the epitome of our homophobia (men),our desire for revenge (women), and sexual innuendos (everyone.) The residency of these massive balls, of varying weights and hole sizes, are the sole item that wasn't designed to destroy our wallets. What very few of us know is that these 10 pound balls (or more if you're feeling manly) are the breeding grounds for disease fungus, sort of like Mos Eisley or a high school.

They can be used as weapons against passing cars.

Or you could always launch them into the air for some impromptu ceiling destruction.

What are your diabolic plans for bowling balls? Post them in the comments below.