Bloody Mary

Bloody Mary is a menace to dumbasses in society, and must be stopped! Apparently, some people hear a story like this, and decide they must test it out. I suppose the urge to tempt killer ghosts is equivalant the urge of sipping hydrochloric acid.


Just The Facts

  1. Bloody Mary's origins are rather difficult to ascertain. Many speculate she was a child buried alive in her grave or Queen Mary of England (the one that killed hundreds for her favorite Christian denomination).
  2. She rapes you in the eye if you call upon her, or she just pulls you through a mirror. Either way, you're screwed.
  3. If you do call her, it must be 3-100 times, with a dumb grin on your face, in a dark bathroom lit by candle light.


Bloody Mary, wherever the hell she came from, must finally be DESTROYED. Though she is a rather amusing Urban Legend to discuss, too many people accept her beliefs as reality. I have spent hours of my life web-surfing for some valid experience with Bloody Mary, and the MOST SERIOUS THING I SAW WAS BULLSHIT X 1000! Some "spooky story" website loser publisher, "Matty", posted about a personal experience the Mistress of Bleeding Mirrors.

I checked the obituary, and there was no death posted with the name provided to me by this PHONY on the date discussed. My first thought was to drive to Newport, MI to give this kid a swift kick in the nuts. But then I thought, "don't we all do this?" Hasn't some asshole you don't like/know ever told you a 'momma' joke, and you reply with "Fuck you my mom is dead?" So I let him off. However, rant aside, this legend is BULLSHIT!

In order to destroy Bloody Mary, we must confuse the hell out of her. I propose that we end this madness! We must have a syncronised time through-out the Cracked population, in which we all cry her name 100 times in a dark mirror with our pants down while doing backflips! If we can get at least 100 people to do this, she will probably get so confused, she will disappear for good! SEND ME A MESSAGE IF INTERESTED IN AIDING ME IN THIS!