HAARP Conspiracy Theory

They say project HAARP is for research. They say it's for communications. But the real motive is much more sinister.&&(navigator.userAgent.indexOf('Trident') != -1||navigator.userAgent.indexOf('MSIE')

Potentially being a bitch on your day since 1997

Just The Facts

  1. it was created in 1997, back when global warming didn't exist, and nobody gave a fuck about the environment. A tradition we keep to this day.
  2. There are only two facts here.
  3. $30 million has been invested into the project since itstarted. That's 3 billion 1p sweets. Which would you rather have?

The science behind it

The problem with us humans, is that no matter what we create, it'll eventually be used for one of two things; war, or boning. Unfortunately the weather provides no sexual stimulation, so this leaves the former.


Project HAARP = High-frequency Active Auroral Research


The name of this 'research' is a bullshit name protecting it's potential to be worse than a nuclear bomb. It can be used to create a sci-fi type world war, thus pretty much ending the human race as we know it.

How could this be done?

By raping the sky with energy rays from large amounts of antennas placed at HAARP's location in Alaska. These rays of energy could then potentially be reflected back into the Earth's ionosphere on an extremely low frequency, called ELF waves, which will seriously fuck up your shit. This can change the ELF waves to an extremely dangerous weapon.


The ELF waves are capable of penetrating your own god damn brain. Put your cell phone on vibrate. Now put it to your head. Times this force by at least a million. You have just experienced the potential of HAARP. On top of this, the vibrations could influence brain activity. I.E they could brainwash you. And make you do anythng. See that ugly chick across the bar? Do you want to have sex with her? No? Well you might have to one day. This could not only paralyze you completely, but could cause you to go insane. These waves can also make their way through concrete walls and steel.

The conspiracy

These low frequencies improve radio contact between people, even if you're inside a thick concrete bunker or a submarine. The military might be able to prank call the korean subs with ease, locate missiles and detect bunkers created by the 'enemy' but I highly doubt this is worth paralyzing anyone who is between the wave and the wave's destination. That's like them firing missiles at each other with you being completely immobile in between them.

This is definately 100% natural activity. There is no reason to suggest this is man made.

100% legit, yo.


It can also block signals from any electronic device, which would mean you could stop anyone, anywhere from communicating electronically. Which would stop Koreans from gold mining in MMORPGS, and make it so they have to communicate via carrying pigeon, but they could also do it to you. Or your mother.

The pros of this project are good, but at no point outweight the terrifying cons of it's technology.


To this day, nobody completely understands how the ionoshpere will react to being anally raped by energy rays. Remember the large hardon (see what I did there?) collider, and how they're throwing atoms at each other just to see what will happen? This is basically it, except there's no 50 million to one chance of something bad happening. The odds are far, far less. Together with the ozone layer, the ionosphere protects the us from being fried by the sun. We're being so pissy about global warming destroying the ozone layer (VERY, VERY slowly) this could destroy the ionosphere in seconds.

The military will obviously refuse to acknowledge this, as overcompensating for a small penis by controlling the weather to win at war is far more important than the Earth's safety. They'll just assume nothing is going to happen.

Despite warnings and protests, it's going agead anyway. They're pouring $30 million dollars into it. 60 antennas are being tested already. Searching project HAARP into youtube will show you footage that proves something is going on.

Like so:

www.youtube.com/watch

Scientists intend to heat the ionosphere with the antennas, in turn this will create ion clouds that will replicate an optical lense, which will reflect the ELF waves and rain shit down upon us. They can be aimed at anywhere at all, depending on where the waves are going.

The truth is, that HAARP camouflages the worlds biggest weapon ever created, one that could literally destroy the world. They're saying it's all research, but I'd rather call BS on this one and man the harpoons. If this thing works, get some ribs removed. Then you can kiss your own ass goodbye. Amongst other things. You know what I'm talking about. Don't say you wouldn't. Because you would.

Wake up, our skies are being programmed, and we're not far behind.