Aqua Teen Hunger Force

Aqua Teen Hunger Force is the longest-running original Adult Swim show, and is enjoyed by young adults aged 18-29, presumably under the influence of toxic chemicals and/or crippling insomnia. &&(naviga

The early years

Exactly what Walt Disney had in mind.

Carl (a true man's man), wondering where he's supposed to put the dollar bills.

Just The Facts

  1. Master Shake is a milkshake. Frylock is a box of fries. Meatwad is exactly that.
  2. Premiered on December 30, 2000 along with Sealab 2021, the Brak Show, and Harvey Birdman, Attorney At Law.
  3. Continuity? Fuck that!
  4. You do not sound like Meatwad. Stop it.
  5. You do not sound like Carl. However, we're pretty sure you smell like him.

Number One In the hood, G

Our anthropomorphic fast-food heros started life as a detective agency, but this premise was quickly jettisoned for being crap. The theme song is by Schoolly D, who also provided occasional commentary during the first season. This, too, was scrapped, presumably for being a crap idea as well. They live in New Jersey (exact location not given), and basically spend most of their time torturing their next-door neighbor, Carl Brutananadilewski - a fat, unemployed sexual deviant (pretty much how we picture most of you turning out).

There's no irony involved, nor any sly pop-cultural references - "The Simpsons", this ain't. Just good ol' American bad-natured fun, with no pesky deeper hidden meaning or underlying cultural significance to get in the way of guffawing at jokes about venereal disease, poverty, and poor hygeine.

Frylock

I like bones in my french fries.

Frylock is, for all intents and purposes, the leader of the Aqua Teens. His stoic, clearheaded approach adds the only hint of sanity to the team's shenanigans, and is in direct contrast to Master Shake's impudence and Meatwad's infantlike behavior. It also makes him pretty damned boring. He does have a few saving graces, including eye-lasers (provided by his contact lenses), "Frydar", the ability to fly, and mad-scientist-style genius - the latter of which he uses to create wicked-ass scientific monstrosities, including a turbine-powered toilet and a "replacement body" for Carl comprised solely of discarded eyeballs (which Carl needed after having used afore-mentioned toilet).

In the 2007 movie, Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film For Theaters, it was revealed that Frylock is actually transgendered - or, more to the point, a "lesbian transexual". He is also shown to have a VCR hidden in the jewel encased in his back, containing a VHS tape of false memories of his creation. In other words, Frylock is the Aqua Teen most likely to throw you in a deep pit for the purpose of harvesting your skin.

Master Shake

We don't need a toilet. The pile of clothes in the hallway has worked fine for us for years, and it will continue to work.

Master Shake (Shake, for short) is the older brother we're glad we never had. Simply put, he's an asshole - and second only to Carl for being the character with the funniest lines on the show. He is the self-proclaimed leader of the Aqua Teens, and his powers include, and are probably limited to:

  • "shooting" a limp dollop of pistachio milkshake from his straw
  • causing inanimate objects to explode by throwing them to the ground
  • easy-to-animate leg-less locomotion

When he's not preoccupied with going to Guatemala to have his ass surgically grafted to his face, or "co-marrying" Russian mail-order brides with Carl, Shake can normally be found sitting in front of the TV, complaining about anything that crosses his mind (having to move from said chair seemingly his biggest complaint).

We have no suitable explanations for the following Shake quotes:

  • " ... All right. Now fellate me, as I eat this expensive ham."
  • " What are we doing here Frylock? I mean, Egypt doesn't even exist! I mean, you don't hear DMX rap about it."
  • "Something's been jabbing me in the ass all week."
  • "We've just gotta hope that the bowels don't release after hitting the hot oil."
  • "He's not melting. He's "chillaxin'". If you can't speak the language, go back to Mexico. Where you were born, and are from."

Meatwad

If you glanced at his junk, you're going to hell.

Meatwad is (presumably) the youngest member of the Aqua Teens, as evidenced by his (mostly) childlike innocence and seemingly willful ignorance. Sleeping on a fire-pit probably doesn't do much for his reasoning capacity, or his ability to drink from a glass, either. His only "superpower" seems to be his dubious gift of transmutation - he is a malleable hunk of meat, after all. He has been known to transform into the following random, useless objects:

  • an igloo
  • a "meat bridge"
  • a hot dog, with bun
  • A large hand, flipping the bird
  • Samurai Abraham Lincoln, holding a katana/Wayne Gretzky

Meatwad sounds like Elmo, if Elmo didn't defecate, urinate, or vomit - "Two men enter; no man leaves". Chicks dig 'im (as is chronicled in the theme song), and somehow, his lines are the most oft-quoted, save for quips by...

Carl Brutananadilewski

Overweight, bawdy, out-of-work Giants fan (no, it's not your Uncle Tony) Carl Brutananadilewski lives next-door to the Aqua Teen Hunger Force, and is tortured, maimed, and killed several times (see The 7 Most Bizarrely Unlucky People Who Ever Lived for some real-life Carls) throughout the series - usually due to having had contact with them. His hobbies include going to strip clubs, watching infomercials ("They're information you get in a commercial"), masturbating, and rocking without instructions. Carl's pride and joy in life is his tricked-out car, 2 Wycked, so naturally it is destroyed as a running gag during the series' run. An accomplished air-musician, and veteran of many "mullet-band" concerts, Carl is the composer of the air-guitar solo, "I Want To Rock Your Body, and then, in parentheses, 'Til The Break Of Dawn".

Wisdom from the pulpit of Carl:

  • "This sorta thing happens every day! People just don't... you know, talk about it this loud."
  • "Meat-man... ever since my son was... never conceived, because I've never had consensual sex without money involved... I've always kind of looked at you as... a thing, that I could live next to... in accordance with state laws."
  • "I'm not gonna get humped by no giant red gorilla in space, okay? No thank you."
  • "I put two and two together, and decided that you're pissin' me off."
  • "Look, they're harmless. If they give ya trouble, hit 'em with the shampoo."
  • "See, I think that's what hell is like. You know - constantly raped by dogs"
  • "If you need anything, you know who to look to - someone else."

Do you have what it takes to BE Carl?
Oh....you do. Our condolences.


Recurring Ancillary Characters

Dr. Weird/Steve

In the first two seasons, Dr. Weird was the subject of the show's "cold openings". Following a shot of "the South Jersey Shore" and a foreboding castle (actually a scene from a Johnny Quest episode), Dr. Weird began with "Gentlemen....BEHOLD!", after which he revealed a new invention. In the first season, the invention was usually a catalyst for the events of the rest of the episode; in the second season, these were replaced with stoner-friendly non-sequiters. Steve is Dr. Weird's assistant, and has attempted to be the voice of reason to Dr. Weird's insanity. He is usually rewarded for his insolence with death, with methods up to and including impalement by ears of corn.

In the 2007 movie, Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film For Theaters, it was revealed (via Frylock's hidden VHS tape) that Dr. Weird was responsible for creating the Aqua Teen Hunger Force. Later, this is revealed to be false; the Aqua Teens and Dr. Weird are actually creations of an alien named Walter Melon, who intended for the four to destroy each other so he could inherit their real estate. This turned out to be a shitty plan, as none of them actually own any property.

The Mooninites (Ignignokt and Err)

Ignignokt and Err are from the Moon, and go to great lengths to remind everyone of that fact as often as possible. They derive pleasure from taking advantage of Meatwad's ignorance, convincing him to steal, smoke cigarettes, drink alcohol, and get tattoos of clowns. Err fits precisely into Ignignokt's head, and by joining together, they can fire a "Quad Laser" (basically a single giant, slow-moving pixel). A larger and more powerful version of this attack, the "Quad Glacier", seems to be barely moving to the naked eye. They claim to be fatherless, and use this as an excuse for their gleeful misbehavior.

The Plutonians (Oglethorpe and Emory)

Oglethorpe and Emory are from Pluto, or from a planet beyond Pluto. Oglethorpe speaks in a slurred German accent, and usually comes up with their plans for world domination (which at one point included "de-terraforming" Earth). Their deformed bodies have been explained as being the result of having to fetch keys that Emory dropped into a woodchipper. In several episodes, they are shown unsuccessfully fueding with the Mooninites, who purport that the Plutonians "eat their own farts".

Celebrity Guest Stars

Every cult cartoon has 'em - did you honestly think ATHF would be any different?

Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film for Theaters

We have no idea what's going on here, but it's probably pretty bad-ass.

Released in 2007, Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film for Theaters has been described as "an act of terrorism against entertainment." We here at Cracked agree with this assertion, and will mercifully spare you all the details. Instead, we'll give you the opportunity to view the best part of the film:

You're welcome.