Nerds

Nerds are people who don't get a lot of sex, no matter how much Hollywood tells us differently

this is the kind of picture that gives nerds false hope. Cruel, cruel, beautiful woman.

This woman does not love nerds. In all probability, she cannot read and therefore does not know what her shirt actually says.

She is not fully aware that real nerds actually look like this.

Just The Facts

  1. Supermodels don't eat candy because they don't want to get fat
  2. Nerds are a delicious candy from Wonka
  3. You are what you eat

Things That Nerds Do

Many nerds are also computer hackers

And all hackers look exactly like this.

Once a year, the greatest nerd gathering of all time takes place in San Diego. This is called Comic Con, where people dress up like their favorite cartoon or movie characters and do shit like this

On all of the days that Comic Con is not convening, they dress up just for the hell of it.

Nerds are fans of webcomics such as xkcd

Dinosaur Comics:

and the ever-popular Penny Arcade

Etymology

The first written use of the word "nerd" was in Dr. Seuss' If I Ran the Zoo.

Some people insist that there is a difference between a "nerd" and a "geek." A geek is "a peculiar or otherwise odd person, especially one who is perceived to be overly obsessed with one or more things including those of intellectuality, electronics, etc." A nerd, on the other hand, is "is a person who passionately pursues intellectual activities,esoteric knowledge, or other obscure interests that are age-inappropriate rather than engaging in more social or popular activities."

Clearly you can see the difference.

Movies About Nerds

Weird Science:

Two nerdy kids do something impossible involving a computer and a Barbie doll in order to create their own sexbot who has magic powers. She then helps them become cool and pick up chicks. This still image is of a nerd getting a faceful of computer jizz:

Revenge of the Nerds:

In which a typical group of nerds use their astounding brain powers to defeat more heavily-muscled jocks.

War Games:

A young hacker, looking to find unreleased video games accidentally breaks into a military computer and sets off the nuclear apocalypse. This movie was made back in the 80s (same as Weird Science, see above), when people thought that computers could do anything:

Superbad:

We all know what this one is about. A group of nerds have one last chance to score with chicks before everyone goes off to college. Some of them sort of succeed.

Tron:

Like the Matrix but without guns, Tron puts a hacker into the computer system that he helped design and runs him through a series of videogames that he must win without dying. The hacker then goes against the Master Control in order to free the computer system. This is a movie about nerds, for nerds.