New Moon: The Movie Vs. The Book

New Moon was a book with a target audience of teenage girls who know nothing about anything. New Moon became a movie based on the book with a target audience of teenage girls who know everything... about nothing. This is the comparison of both.

Is that the book with all of the big words in it?

Just The Facts

  1. For a comparison that normal people will understand, this movie made more money than The Dark Night.
  2. The book has made over $30 million. Which is more money than you will make. EVER.
  3. The movie has made over $261 million. Which proves that the movie is better than the book.

The Big Screen VS. The text

Obviously, most twilight freaks fans will argue that the book is, by far, better than the movie. They may say, "The book is better because it includes more detail of what happens and allows us to visualize everything that occurs."

Here's how I would put it. "The book is better because it's extremely long and gives us pointless information and detail that no one really cares about, but somehow, hypnotizes us into reading about some whiny girl who finds out that her life is becoming a horror movie (except that the monsters actually like her)"

Show-off

This is the real reason why people see the movie

From what I can tell, I expected this movie to suck, just like the last one. Remember Kristen Stewart's unbelievable, oscar-award winning acting that we got to see a preview of in Twilight?

That's killer acting. Don't give the oscar to Leonardo Di Caprio! Give it to Kristen Stewart instead! Maybe, during her speech, we can see her pass out from breathing too heavily! Not to mention watching in shake her head "no" in pure disbelief!

Bella Swan ( in the book) should deserve an oscar, though. Stephanie Meyer has a good taste of choosing random vocabulary throughout random sections of the book. A lot of big words...That nobody uses in speech. Wow Bella. Those are some pretty big words.

Don't even get me started on Edward. Any dude who sparkles of glitter and fairy dust is not in my list.

At the end of the book, there's about fifty pages worth of a delightful conversation with the volturi. That stuff at the end is the most boring thing you will or will not read in your life. In fact, I actually skipped that ENTIRE conversation. Let me give you an excerpt of it:

"I am gratified by his success," Aro mused. "Yours memories of him are quite a gift for me, though they astonish me exceedingly,"

SKIP A FEW PAGES

Edward was by my side again. He touched Alice's arm, and she surrendered me to him.

SKIP A FEW PAGES

Aro seemed convinced. did he not realize how subjective Alice's visions were? Tat she could make up her mind to transform me today, and she could change it tomorrow?

SKIP CHAPTER

In the movie, it's shortened to about 2 pages worth of conversation. So, that really gives the movie a good edge.

The book might be a little bit tedious to go through, but it does have some extra information into it.

Ok, so the movie and the book are, pretty much, tied up at this point, so how should we choose which one deserves the right to be entitled as, "Not the worst"

Well, the way we decide which one wins this battle, is money. Call me cheap, but that's the only way to settle this. Remember that Just the Facts section above this section that you skipped? Well, the movie made more money. So, that's our winner.

And just to be clear, I do NOT hate twilight. In fact, I actually like the series. But there are a lot of flaws in it, which bother me a bit. So I like it, but I'm not a twilight freak!

I am NOT on team Edward

I am NOT on team Jacob

I am on Team Buffy! Slay that vampire!!!