Tommy Wiseau

Tommy Wiseau is true auteur and a titan of the film industry. His highly successful film career was launched with his sprawling masterpiece, "The Room," a triumph of contemporary cinema.

The film poster. Notice how it's so spectacularly rudimentary that it must have been intentional.

Just The Facts

  1. Tommy Wiseau wrote, directed, produced, and starred in "The Room."
  2. No one has any real idea where he's from, as his accent bears no resemblance to any that can be heard on Earth.
  3. His plans for the future include either a vampire movie, or a biopic on Heath Ledger. With any luck, it will be both. Simultaneously.
  4. All those who challenge or heckle him at public appearances end up looking like douchebags.

Biography... Maybe.

Wiseau originally intended to be a rockstar, but feeling that the world was not ready for his music, he instead opted to work in a San Francisco hospital, changing bedpans.

Having grown up in every European country, Wiseau was fluent in over twenty languages, and managed to amass a great fortune as a mediator in international black market circuits. With this fortune, he retired from his hospital job and turned toward something he felt more passionate about: film.

Determined to become a veritable tour de force both in front of and behind the camera, he received acting training from Laney College, the American Conservatory Theatre, the Jean Shelton Actors Lab, the Tyler Worley Workshop, the Stella Adler Studio of Acting, and the ghost of James Dean.

It was then and only then that he felt ready to undertake his most ambitious project to date: "The Room." Based on an unpublished, unwritten 540-page novel by Wiseau himself, "The Room" had to be perfect.

He alotted seven million dollars for the budget. Since Wiseau was very aware that all major movie studios are run by bourgeois Fascists, philistines, and SkyNet, the film was financed entirely from his own pocket.

The rest is history.

Always the life of the party. Just like Entourage, except funny.

His Magnum Opus

Plot Summary

Wiseau stars as Johnny, a relatively successful banker... of some sort who lives with his kind-of-but-not-really attractive "future wife," Lisa.

Johnny's life revolves around Lisa. He treats her with the utmost kindness and respect, and buys her a new bouquet of flowers every single day... which she promptly drenches in bleach before she goes to cheat on him with his best friend, Mark.


"YOU ARE TEARING ME APART, LISA!"

Lisa's mother, recently diagnosed with breast cancer, loves Johnny and urges Lisa to stay with him because, as a woman, there's no way she'll be able to support herself otherwise.

In addition to Lisa, Johnny cares for an apparently retarded, supposedly college-aged kid named Denny. Although Johnny loves Denny like a son, Denny forsakes Johnny's trust when he gets involved with an incredibly impatient drug dealer named Chris-R.

Rounding out Johnny's inexplicably traitorous social circle is Lisa's best friend, Michelle, and her boyfriend, Mike, who have weird chocolate-fetishist sex on his couch when he's not looking.

Eventually Johnny finds out about Lisa's affair with Mark, and instead of killing her like a normal person, he wrecks his bedroom and kills himself.
Soon after, the entire cast rushes in and sees his corpse, causing them to regret their infidelities.

Reception/Rebuttal

While not initially a box-office success, the film has developed a cult following after being universally lambasted by people with no sense of irony.

Failing to see it as a masterfully orchestrated satire of the endless, self-important drama films of the contemporary era, critics have hailed it as "the worst movie ever," and "the 'Citizen Kane' of shit."

"Worst. Movie. Ever."

...but let's face it, folks: Tommy Wiseau knew exactly what he was doing. It's clear that he put special effort into making the film seem outwardly horrible, with remarkable attention to every goddamn ridiculous detail.

It mercilessly parodies every overwrought tragedy ever brought to the screen, complete with quickly-abandoned subplots and obtuse symbolism, such as framed photographs of spoons and an American football motif representative of comradery.

He even managed to get sufficiently and genuinely horrible performances from the actors. How?
By not informing them it was supposed to be bad.
To this day the poor bastards are still unaware of Wiseau's true intentions.
Wiseau himself, unable to make his purposefully shitty acting seem natural, even went so far as to distract the audience by making most of Johnny's dialogue out-of-sync with the video.

Even many people who enjoy the film believe it to be a hilariously awful clusterfuck, but at his public appearances, Wiseau maintains that he made a good movie.
...and he did. A movie that is very, very good at being bad.

Celebrity Endorsements

In a stunningly ironic turn of events, the first people to recognize the film's greatness were all straight out of Hollywood.

Among its many celebrity fans are Paul Rudd, David Cross, and Kristen Bell.
So great is Bell's love for the movie that she acquired a film reel and regularly hosts viewing parties.


Yes, her. No, mentioning the film will not get her to have sex with you.

It is thanks in part to these endorsements that the film eventually began to attract audiences, and it soon developed a cult following, with armies of spoon-wielding fans flocking to theatres for midnight showings much in the vein of "The Rocky Horror Picture Show."

It is sadly unknown whether or not Wiseau will be working with his big-name followers on any upcoming projects.

Other Projects

Completed Projects

In 2004, he filmed and directed a documentary entitled "Homeless in America."
There are very few living souls (other than Wiseau himself) who have any idea what topic this film deals with, but many believe it may be related to homelessness in America... though these are educated guesses, at best.

Additionally, Wiseau has produced the pilot episode for his sitcom, "The Neighbors."
While "The Room" was a parody of the common drama film, "The Neighbors" seems to satirize the typical sitcom.
While "The Room" was black comedy, "The Neighbors" utilizes anti-humour to its advantage. That is, it's meant to be so unfunny that the audience, believing it's supposed to be funny, will laugh hysterically at its apparently terrible attempts.
This parodies the omnipresent droves of genuinely unfunny shows.


Present Activity

Wiseau is currently working on a Broadway musical adaptation of "The Room," sure to contain plenty of horrid singing, awkward dancing, and cacophonous noise masquerading as music.
Broadway will never be the same.

As for his career in film, we're really rooting for "Heath Ledger, Vampire."