Hyperlinks
Ha! This shit isn't going to be about hyperlinks at all. Unless my demands are met, no one will learn shit about the fascinating world of hyperlinks, one of the core concepts in HTML, first coined as a term in the mid '60s.
Just The Facts
- I'm not going anywhere until my demands are met.
- I'm just crazy enough to do it.
- You are getting too old for this shit.
List of demands
Listen, I'm a regular American like you (like you Canadians). I work hardish, and have very little to show for it (car, house, big TV, THATS IT). I'm not asking for much: just $50 and to become a welebrity.
His joke, not mine
So now that I have your precious 'hyperlinks' page hostage, I think you will do just what I say. First of all, I'm going to need four parachutes, a semi-automatic weapon, and big-titty bitches as far as the eye can see (to be clear, that's one, one big-titty bitch).
In addition, I will now write my own articles, rather than be confined to this 'topics' format. My first one will be The Top 10 Most Baffling Objects To Have Been Caught With Your Dick Stuck Inside. You will also bring me...what the-
Hyperlinks are also a little older of a concept than many people realize.
The concept of the hyperlink traces back to mimeograph machines. An early essay by Vannevar Bush (what, this isn't automatically linked with a Topics page? Weird) described a concept in which a piece of text would be linked to another within the microfilm.
This idea was picked up by Ted Nelson (what, no link here either?) who ran with it during Project Xanadu, which judging from the name, was a project that had the following steps:
- Get fucked up on drugs
Anyway, thanks to early visionaries and dedicated computer scientists, the hyperlink exists in its current format today. And before you disparage the importance of the hyperlink (or 'hyphylink' as it's known in the bay area), marinate on this fact: how many hyperlinks did you click just today?
-the shit (cough, cough)...you bastards. You told me we had a deal...please...tell my future wife that I love her...and remember me...remember...that I tried...
Pictured: the author, but you know, dying.
