Funk is all around you. Funkiness makes up the universe, and life is all about letting the funk be free.
Right after the classics of John lee hooker-esque blues about how sad you are, and before *shudder* auto-tune, there was a musical viod. Sure, the beatles were happening, and they had something going, but surely there could be something more. Enter George Clinton. (No relation to the "Bill" variety of Clinton) Technically speaking, Funk music started with a barbershop quintet that clinton had in his barber shop (Duh) in new jersey. They were called the parliments. Eventually, when Clinton realized that they looked like tools in those barbershop quintet suits, he removed a word and a letter and thus parliment was born. Here's where thigs get comfusing. The band "Funkadelic" who released albums at the same time at parliment, but for a different label, were the parliments backing band from the tooley days. These two legendary bands both shared alot of the same members like Clarence "Fuzzy" Haskins. This was mostly a marketing trick on George Clintons part.
Pictured: A marketing genius.
These bands went on to define a word, form a crazy ideology and trip for days straight. Such ground breaking albums were released by Funkadelic as "Free your mind, and your ass will follow". Meanwhile Parliment was cranking out hits like: "Gloryhallastupid", and "Mothership Connection."
Now, in these amazing albums, span the lives and times of many creative characters. Who, as we have learned by staying up all night listning to the albums, have some pretty crazy times. Here is the story of the funk, as best we can put it without any basslines.
Many years ago, in outer space, there was a mothership filled with funkateers, funky people. the leader of which was named Starchild. These funketeers were sent by Dr.funkenstien (Who said unto the funkateers, "The bigger the headache, the bigger the pill") to find and colonize unfunky planets. They happened upon earth, and landed and subsequesntly encoded the funk into the pyrimids at giza, for humans to discover later on. The place that this funk would bring them to is called funkentelechy, or a state of realization of one's total potentaial for funkiness. For a time, everything was good. Until Sir Nose D'voidoffunk came and tried to turn the humans into mindless, unfunky zombies. This mental state was called the Zone of Zero Funkativity. Sir nose got his name because of Bootsy Collins' pinnochio theory: If you fake the Funk, your nose will grow. Sir Nose tried to get the human race to be in the Zone of Zero Funkativity through a combination of stupidity and no dancing. So it was a face off between Starchild and Sir Nose. Starchild used the Funky Flashlight in combination with the Bop Gun to blast Nir Nose into a frenzy of funky dancing. Sir nose was gone, for now, but reappeared several years later in "The motor booty affair" in Atlantis, of all places. He was too cool to dance of swim there, so starchild, with the help of an atlantian worm named Mr.Wiggles helped to get Sir Nose dance the Aqua Boogie. The last time we see Sir nose D'Voidoffunk is in "Trombipulation", in which he finds out his ancestors were Cro-nasel Sapiens. Basically, Funky dinosaurs.
A truly amzing story. No pictures either! Good job!