Macho Man Randy Savage

Randy Poffo, otherwise known as Macho Man Randy Savage, is a former WWF/WCW champion whose high-flying antics, ridiculous costumes and signature voice made him one of the WWF's most recognized faces. Now he's a rapper. Seriously.

Macho Man:  So manly, it's gay?  Or so gay, it's manly?  You decide!

Just The Facts

  1. Macho Man Randy Savage is a six-time World Champion. This would be impressive if the requirements for becoming a World Champion weren't some writer deciding that they were going to make you one.
  2. Macho Man made the smart family decision to involve his wife with his work. If you work from home this is okay, BUT WHEN YOU ARE A PROFESSIONAL WRESTLER IT IS NOT! SOMEONE ALMOST ALWAYS ENDS UP DEAD!
  3. His wife died in 2003 of a prescription drug overdose.
  4. In 2003 he also came out with a rap album. In case you'd forgotten.

Wrestling Career

Macho Man signed to the WWF in 1985, but it wasn't until early 1986 that he was able to pick up steam and win the Intercontinental Championship. This is the Championship they give to people who aren't good enough to win the real Championship, but hey, still came out to play. Deciding that he didn't want to fade into obscurity, and would rather spend his life selling Slim Jims and writing rap songs, Macho Man set his sights on the WWF Championship.

He formed a tag team with wrestler Hulk Hogan thanks to the help of his girlfriend, and eventually won the Championship. Either he had incredible skill and was able to retain the title for the next year, or the writers decided to just smoke a bunch of pot and listen to bad hard rock music instead of writing new, exciting story lines, but either way nothing happened. He held onto his title for a whole year. Finally, after 371 days, his tag team partner Hulk Hogan beat Macho Man and became the champion (hey, good team work, guys!).

After losing the title, the writers decided to get creative by slapping a crown on him and calling him a bad guy.

Only bad people wear crowns.

Why do you need a belt to hold up your underwear?

It was during this time that "Macho King" ditched his in-ring manager (but real-life wife) Miss Elizabeth for a younger, sexier Sensational Sherri). She took on the monkier Sensational Queen Sherri and the two of them set their sights on Macho King regaining the title. He began feuding with new up-and-comer The Ultimate Warrior, who was the current Champion.

Sensational Queen Sherri and the Macho King finally got the opportunity to wrestle The Ultimate Warrior at Wrestlemania VIII (note how much classier greased up men rolling around in tights becomes when you incorporate roman numerals into the equation) but did not have the gusto that it took to defeat him. Upon Macho King being beaten, Queen Sherri decided to get in on the action and also started attacking Savage.

Upon seeing this, Macho King's old manager Miss Elizabeth ran out to save him. Apparently this was heart-wrenching enough to cause some audience members to cry.

Pictured: Typical WWE fan

Pictured: Typical WWE fan

Eventually he moved to the WCW where he continued to be a bad guy. Writing about his wrestling career is boring.

Acting/Music Career

Here we go! Macho Man Randy Savage had a very illustrious acting career including that one scene in Spiderman and an episode of Pee-Wee's playhouse. According to wikipedia he was also a Thug in the animated movie Bolt starring Miley Cyrus and John Travolta.

In 2003 Macho Man released a rap album entitled "Be A Man". The title track is a song where he calls out Hulk Hogan, and offers to fight him (fighting in this sense referring to a writer planning out their match for them where it will be clearly determined beforehand who the winner and loser is). On it he also has a song about how awesome his good friend/fellow wrestler Mr. Perfect is. Luckily, Mr. Perfect was dead of a cocaine overdose by the time this song was released.

Unsurprisingly, his rap CD sold next to no copies whatsoever, however earned 3 and a half stars on amazon.com. To be fair though, the same people who bought his album bought this.

Clearly there's a market for athletes attempting to enter the rap game.