There are people who claim that the Alien Quadrilogy should be be cut down to include only Alien and Aliens. Witnessing the bloody abortion that was Alien: Resurrection, I have to agree with them.
I will not spoil the movie (see fact #4). But we need a bit of introductory information to truly appreciate the subtle nuances of this sequel. See, sequels are like wine. Grapes are all well and good, but smash them together, leave them to ferment, and you have the potential to get a good alcoholic beverage. All it depends on is the time, the quality of the barrel and the feet smashing the grapes, and the knowledge of the vinter.
Jesus Christ: turned water to wine. James Cameron: created a GREAT sequel. Who is the greatest miracle worker?
Now that I'm finished with the wine metaphor, I will say that Aliens will make you drunk on a whiff. Because you're not supposed to sip wine at a wine tasting. That is so new-money. (End of wine metaphor).
Pictured: Nouveau riche
In the beginning of this movie, Ripley (the ass-kicking heroine that we all know and love) is found floating in the deep abyss of space. She is taken home and stays in a hospital, where she works off her exhaustion, the knowledge that her child is dead of old-age (one of those space-time mindfucks) and her sweat-inducing nightmares that would make Clint Eastwood shit his pants.
Shit lewit that is one scary chicken baby! Oh...yeah, and the chestburster, too.
During a dramatic boardroom meeting, we learn that the planet that Ripley's former crew (RIP first asshole android betrayer) landed on, also known as LV-426, is now inhabited by a colony called Hadley's Hope (oh the irony) and is populated by men, women and children.
"Yes, we have atmosphere generators, a processing station that can explode with the power of a thermonuclear device and a wonderful species of native fauna. All it's missing is a white picket fence!"
It seems as if we are left to a drama movie where Ripley triumphantly overcomes her mental psychosis and redeems herself through learning how to become the best damn cargo-loader there is, when the cliche stooge, Mr. Burke, calls on Ripley with a colonial marine named Lieutentant Gorman, and tells her that they have lost contact with the colony. Holy shit, I smell a premise!
Here is a few dirty facts about the characters who don't die within the first hour and a half.
Child in one hand + large gun in the other = ass-kicking mother.
What can you expect of a character named Cartman?
Wanted: "Leadership that inspires marines under your command and Americans everywhere." (marines.com) Pictured: uh..not that.
Not seen in the movie: Quiet, dignified courage under the face of horrendous odds.
Corporal Hicks, an American hero!!! (But not if he's gay.)
See the bandana? That screams badass. Or "Blood". Whatever.
Big eyes, check. Frightened expression, check. Empty doll head...uh, check.