Mixed Martial Arts

Mixed Martial Arts is full of action, excitement and homoerotic situations!

This is what I see everytime MMA is on the television.

Are you a male with a low IQ and neanderthal characteristics?  I've got some clothes for you!

Just The Facts

  1. MMA is a sport made up of a lot of different fighting styles crammed into 1 event.
  2. Usually the participants end up in the man-on-man missionary position during the course of the fight. Not that there is anything wrong with that.
  3. Yes, someone started a clothing line marketed towards fans and participants of the sport. It looks just like it sounds.

Sport of Scholars

No. No MMA it is not the sport of scholars. It is quite the opposite. While I will let you decide what you think of MMA, I will give you the cold hard facts on this sport. It is indisputable that this is a young sport. One day someone thought up, "Hey, let's get a bunch of different kinds of fighters into a cage and pretty much have a no-holds barred, rule-free fiasco." Then said person did exactly that with millions of young men in tow to follow.

Dozens of different fighting styles collide in these matches and it usually turns into 1 of 3 things: 1.) Neither of the fighters know how to defend against the other's fighting styles, so they cross pork swords until the referee breaks them up. 2.) One of the guys has no clue how to defend against the other fighting style so he get's himself into huge trouble which results in passing out or getting his ankle/arm shattered. 3.) The two fighting styles up against each other don't mesh well so you just see a lot of prancing around with ill-fated attempts at takedowns or strikes.

MMA is the reason you can't go to Hooters on a fight night without having to shoot someone in the parking lot to escape. A bunch of crazy toolboxes get drunk and fired up at these events and want to fight everybody. Wether you like it or not, it appears MMA is going nowhere. They will allow anybody famous from another arena to fight. "Used to be a pro ping pong player and you want to fight? Come on!" MMA attracts a lot of viewers. You decide what you think but the sport needs some serious polishing.