ADHD Medications

If you see or know a kid who ricochets off the walls with energy, constantly interrupts you, and seems like a general asshole, don't blame him. He just might have ADHD. Luckily, there's medication for that.

Just shut the fu-

That's better.

Just The Facts

  1. There are 4.5 million children ages 3 to 17 (7 percent of this age group) with ADHD in the US alone
  2. 2.5 million children between the ages of 4 and 17 (56 percent of those diagnosed) received medication treatment for ADHD as of 2003 (
  3. Ritalin was the world's first ADHD medication in 1956 (
  4. ADHD is much more common in boys than it is in girls (
  5. Some children taking stimulant ADHD medications lose their appetite, which in turn can affect weight and growth (
  6. You're still reading this shit?

What are the various brands of ADHD medication?

There are multiple brands of medication that you or someone you know might take daily for ADHD. Listed below are the most popular brands.


Adderall XR




All these medications do the same thing; help children with ADHD focus on their schoolwork and calm the fuck down.

Adderall: The Lifetime Movie of Millions of Children.

Girls with ADHD are like walking Powerthirst ads!

Before the age of five, I was the girl who in her free time would spin spastically in circles around the house, dump bags of flour onto the kitchen floor and roll in it, refuse to take naps in preschool, and hijack food off my grandfather's plate at the dinner table (true stories).

I usually wasn't as obvious as this kid, though.

When my preschool teachers decided to call my mother about my disruptive behavior, she knew something had to be done.

When I turned 4 years old in 1996, my mother took me to see a clinical
psychologist. He prescribed me Adderall, and I have been on it ever since. That little orange pill has had a profoundly positive impact on my schoolwork as well as my life with my friends and family.

My story is not unique. Many other children with ADHD have had a similar story to mine. Now, it's easy to tell when I have taken my medication and when I have not.

So did he take his meds, or didn't he?

Ask yourself the following questions when pondering if your friend has taken his/her medication today or not.

1. Is he/she being quiet?
2. Is he/she listening to what you are saying?
3. Is he/she sitting still in place?
4. Is he/she being quiet?

If you answered yes to the first four questions, congratulations! Your friend has taken his/her medication today.

If you answered no to the first four questions, you're in for a very long day full of penis jokes, random outbursts, mindless giggling on their part, and huge headaches on your part.

Unless, however, it is a cute girl.

She would be cuter if she couldn't talk, though...