PS3 And You

Wait, SONY PS3? Oh... Who gives a shit?

Even I feel bad for the PS3

Because I got high.

Just The Facts

  1. What's funnier, SONY's ads trying to make the PS3 look successful? Or a bunny with a pancake on it's head?
  2. Actually SONY's last few PS3 commercials were pretty funny.
  3. I seriously think that bunny was my roommate's pet.

So what's so great about PS3?

Nothing! I joke. But here's a quiz to help you figure out if you should buy a PS3:

1. Are you a finicky, obsessive fanboy?

2. Are you willing to pay through your ass for mediocre exclusive titles?

3. Do you get pissed when those mecdiocre exclusive titles go multi-platform?

4. Do you defend your interests like a cultist?

5. Are you willing to pay through the ass AND urethra for a gaming system?

6. Do you like Macs and support Apple's constant money grubbing?

If you said yes to any of those questions, then yes, you would be qualified to buy a PS3.. Or be an idiot.

Also, has anyone else noticed that SONY's latest montage Ad only had like three games in the entire montage?

A brief history of SONY and Playstation products.

They came from hell. I mean, SONY started as some wierd thing in WWII that had to do with radios and some shit happened and roughly 50 years later we had the PS1. Oh yeah SONY also makes T.V.'s and shit. The PS1 was pretty cool though, it was like a clone of every other gaming system at the time except more popular.. And gray. Then they made the PS2 in... Before now, and that was pretty cool too, in fact, one could say that a younger me was at one point excited for the PS3 based on the quality of his PS2, but then I learned that the PS3 was basically just an overpriced steamy pile of hardware/shit. I feel like I'm missing something, though, like a smaller more portable version of the PS2, except it was worse in almost every way and priced higher than the actual PS2, it was like this wierd midget version of the PS2? Oh yeah! The PSP. It sucked. Just like the PS3.

Why the PS3 sucks

Because I said so, now don't make me get my belt! But I have to be more reasonable than that. Or do I? No, yeah I do, so here are some reasons why the PS3 sucks:

1. The price, no matter what you're paying for, you're getting an overpriced piece of hardware, whose only argument of why it's that overpriced is "Blu-ray", funny, Blu-ray seems to be the only real defend-able argument for PS3 and even then, is it worth $300-400?

2. A few mediocre games, makes for a mediocre game library.

3. Bunny with a pancake on it's head says so, do you want to mess that dude?

4. I've got places to be, like reading a cracked article, so I've got to wrap this up, the #1 (but actually #4 on this list) reason that PS3 sucks, is because even though hardware-wise, the PS3 is superior to every other system on the market, in terms of hardware, seeing a game on the PS3 will make you say "Well, it HAD potential, so yeah it pretty much evens out or is inferior to every other next-gen platform on the market.