One of Hollywood's favorite bastard children.
Showdown in Little Tokyo is seriously underrated. It has maintained a cult following largely due to the fact Brandon Lee co-stars in the movie. Not to be out-sized by the hardcore Dolph Lundgren fan cult. "Showdown" was often discovered after Brandon Lee's tragic passing in "The Crow." Fans of Lee would go on to be wowed by such films as, Laser Mission, Rapid Fire and of course Showdown in Little Tokyo.
What makes Showdown any different then the aforementioned b-listers? Dolph Lundgren, Tia Carrere and that guy who played Shang Tsung in Mortal Kombat. The real difference is in the paper. This movie had a real budget with a real stunt team. It reportedly cost 17 million to film. In the blockbuster year that was 1991 that was still a lot of money for a movie. One of the only positives to come out of the 17 million was the prediction that "Ice" (a form of methamphetamine.) would take the US by storm if it was ever mass produced.
Showdown in Little Tokyo was a buddy cop movie that attempted to capitalize on western economic fears that Japan was going to own the United States; while simultaneously using the formula that "48 Hours" trail blazed. This would go down in history as the buddy cop formula. One serious cop paired with one jokester cop. This simple formula would be poorly executed in Showdown in Little Tokyo to a humiliating level.
If you watch closely you can catch the moment they phone it in.
We're being totally serious. this movie takes buddy cop to a new level with this partnership made in heaven. Basically Brandon Lee is a whitewashed Asian guy who "quips" about the size of Dolph's manhood.
So how many dick jokes until it gets really gay? Probably an hour into the movie it starts to really weird you out. Especially after Brandon Lee gives Dolph a real heart to heart about why he wants to be his partner. Then it goes WAY overboard and gets hilarious again.
'If we die, I just want you to know, you have the biggest dick I've seen on a man.' - This is directly quoted.
That doesn't stop Showdown in Little Tokyo from blasting his way into your soul with loads of gratuitous everything. Nudity- Check. Violence- Double Check. Hilarious pseudo homoerotic humor- big swinging check.
In what other 90's action epic is a chick raped, and seduced in the same day?
"You were really raped 4 hours ago!? Let's get naked."
Kenner accomplishes many feats thought totally impossible. Even in film.
He ninjas into an underground fighting club. Consider now that he's 6'5" tall. While in the club he beats the crap out of the two fighters standing in center ring. He uses a very rare and elite samurai technique where he breaks the fighters fist, with his face. He also witnesses several murders but does nothing to attempt an arrest.
Sgt. Chris Kenner leaps over a speeding 1950's convertible full of Yakuza. Uninjured.
He crouches behind a little dining table, which he makes bulletproof. (With his Chi.) All while meeting his new partner and capturing a Yakuza gang suspect. Did we mention he beats the shit out of everything above? If we neglect to mention this fact again, just assume he's constantly beating the shit out of everything.
He get's pissed off and rips this guy's shirt off. (Probably not the for the first or last time.)
Sgt. Chris Kenner's suspect breaks his own neck. Yeah man. "In his world, that was the honorable way to die." Over here at Cracked, we think if the LAPD could still use the, "He broke his own neck" excuse there wouldn't be two strikes on us.
He totally one-ups a fully educated coroner by calling that some chick's head was cut off with a samurai sword. Not a surgical blade. He didn't even see the body first. Because, you know, samurais cut off heads in Japan all the time.
He has a heart to heart with his partner Johnny Murata, proving that he's everything in a human-being. He's both a bad ass Yakuza ass kicking machine, and a gay-friendly LAPD Sargent.
He swings by a popular Sushi club in Little Tokyo for some answers. So Kenner and Johnny knock out everyone on their way inside the club. Four guys just trying to make some extra cash on the night shift get knocked the fuck out. The whole time they quip about martial arts because, as a true beast Kenner is really into his craft. His craft is beating the shit out of people.
Doing some first class police work, Kenner and Johnny interrogate the "hot" club singer. Until they get jumped by Yakuza! Kenner kicks it up a notch and lays out every Yakuza in sight.
He remembers that, "Hey the same guy who owns this club chopped up my parents with a samurai sword back in Japan." So he slaps the shit out of some guy and holds his hand cannon in the Yakuza boss' face. He doesn't pull the trigger because of some spectacular acting by Brandon Lee.
Kenner is too late to protect this hot piece of trim (Tia Carrere) from getting raped. So he goes buck wild and kills every dude who's at the house she's trying to kill herself in. Every dude he can get his hands on anyway.
He pushes over a 1970's muscle car, drives away and shoots it's gas tank -from like 300 feet away- to cause a distracting getaway explosion. Now- we here at Cracked know our fair share of committed Yakuza pursuers. We're almost certain if you push a 1970's muscle car on it's side, they're not chasing you anymore.
Sgt. Chris Kenner being a police officer doesn't seem to mean jack shit. He goes totally animalistic on every motherfucker he sees. Literally, if you're a bad guy in this movie- YOU DIE.
He gives a girl who's suicidal a shotgun. Because she's not going to kill herself after being rescued. That would be retarded.
Kenner and Johnny go into a bathhouse and beat the shit out of the guy who owns it. Making their way to the back they attempt to arrest the Yakuza. By arrest we mean, beat the shit out of everyone while they're half naked and pulling down the hammer on anyone going for his heater.
Did we mention Kenner and Johnny eat cheap shots to the groin for breakfast? They literally have balls of steel. Through out the showdown, together they are kicked in the balls about 25 times in two days.
Since she just got raped, Kenner shows Tia Carrere the Japanese house that he built with his bare hands. Gets her naked in a hot tub, then fucks her like only a giant Norse stud can. In a really drawn out, bizarre scene. Oh yeah, Johnny- he's totally third wheeling around the whole thing making it weirder. If that was possible.
After killing hordes of Yakuza at his Japanese house, Kenner gets tortured; Mel Gibson style. How would one escape an electric bed of acupuncture death? Beast out of your restraints and grab the guy responsible, electrocuting him to death.
Kenner and Johnny get trapped in a compressed car. It's OK because Kenner starts going blood drunk and retard strong; he pushes the top of the car off. Narrowly avoiding death in one of the worst movie props we've ever seen.
In a final act of beasting the fuck out, Kenner runs into the "Red Dragon Brewery" with nothing but a Gi and a M16. Taking his police work to another level. The blood-lusting rage fueled murder spree level.
ONE. Dolph Lundgren in this Jacket.
TWO. Brandon Lee. Yes he was also "The Crow"
FOUR. Tia Carrere.
FIVE. Dolph Lundgren in this outfit.