Carnage, the biggest douche bag in comic books...Yes Robin, bigger than you...

Just The Facts

  1. Has the ability to see from anywhere on his body...yes anywhere
  2. Think's of himself a bit of a people's person, always in the public eye and the front page of papers.
  3. Isn't at all a people's person, no matter what he thinks. But when a man has a double homicide under his belt before he's left grade school, who's going to disagree?
  4. Kind of an asshole...oh yes....a big one


Carnage or Cletus Kasady, as he was known when he resembled something more human and less psychopathic plays quite a big part in the Spider-Man Universe. His history is rather unexplained except for a few key events that evidently aided him in becoming New York Cities biggest asshole.

The earliest act of his special form of social interaction was murdering his own grandmother in a 'down the stairs' fashion. Struggling to see how he could further his life of 'douchebagery', Kasady decided torturing the family dog would provide sufficient attention on his anti-social tendencies and what a success it was. The fallout resulted in his mother opting to beat the shit through him until near death. It's important to note that this occurred as a result of his canine abuse and NOT because he slaughtered his own grandmother. The family priorities perhaps a little astray from the norm in the Kasady house. His father, perhaps also stricken by the prioritising bug, saved his life by than going ape shit on his wife, bashing her to near death.

Thankful for his father's unlikely act of intervention, the young Carnage did the only thing he thought right...testify against his father rewarding him a life sentence in prison. To his dismay this resulted in his placement into an orphanage. A event unforeseen when exiling his parents into prison and intensive care. Oh, and he also murdered his caretaker and pushed a girl in front of a bus for her unprecedented rejection when he tried to pick her up. A shitty movie and a sloppy pass at your breasts was in hindsight, probably a better option.

"Im not fucking around guys , is there something in my teeth?"

When Kasady Met Brock

For reasons largely unknown Kasady ended up getting locked in prison. The kiddy murder probably came into play but who knows. Whilst in prison he shared a cell with journalist and fellow super freak, Eddie Brock or 'Venom' as he is commonly known when opting to throw cars into buildings and lick objects from far away as opposed to his regular career of reporting on such issues as the damage to the new city bank due to being struck by said cars in various manners.

The two were somewhat friends although I use this term loosely as after prison they hated each other almost as much as they did spider-man. Probably due to the belief that the city was to small for TWO slimy insane japanese rape monsters.

"Oh, How nice to see you again"

"Oh, How nice to see you again"

In prison the Brock eventually got bored of being in a cell rather than the world and decided to leave. In this process Kasady was inflicted with Venom's alien symbiote and causing a whole new series of batshit insane serial killing. By which I mean he too, got bored and left prison early.

His super villain alias was self appointed and with his new name he went off and splurged, murdering as many people as he could and tagging the name at the crime scene. You know. In case any police types were confused as to who was leaving all the disfigured and bloodied bodies on rooftops and walls.

Making things easy on the memories of comic book readers, Carnage's powers are almost identical to spider-man's. By which I mean he can climb or run up walls, swing off buildings and leap large distances all the while excreting a healthy amount of bodily fluids for the rest of New York to presumably be left to clean up.

Unique to his own set of abilities however is the skill to morph body parts into shapes of all sorts. Whilst any normal human would turn their hands into giant penises, Carnage prefers medieval weaponry...what a joke.

Oh and did I mention he can control others minds by implanting his tendrils through their skull and into their brain. One wonders why however as I for one cannot imagine much use for a minion post-hole in the face other than a delightful series of condom jokes.



not us....