Acupuncture is a technique from Chinese medicine where needles are shoved into the skin and sometimes lit on fire.

An acupuncture enthusiast

Just The Facts

  1. Originally developed in China, acupuncture is now popular in the United States.
  2. Acupuncture is thousands of years old which legitimizes it as a medical procedure.
  3. Real doctors rarely, if ever, learn acupuncture.
  4. Acupuncturists believe the porcupine is the end product of the evolutionary process.

Acupuncture: An Overview of Pain

The origins of acupuncture are murky but it probably began as a method of torture in ancient China. It eventually became a major part of Chinese Medicine and was used by royalty and peasants alike. Today it is practiced arcross the world and is particularly popular in California where people believe that anything from Asia is deeply spiritual.

A man is filled with regret

A man is filled with regret.

Acupuncture typically entails the insertion of tiny needles practically anywhere across the body including the face, hands, feet, back and occasionally the genitals depending on what a practicioner can talk a patient into. It has been used for a treatment for muscle soreness, depression, AIDS, arthritis and drug addiction which ironically also involves a lot of needles. However, even heroine addicts think that acupuncture is creepy.

An unruly foot is punished with acupuncture

An unruly foot is punished with acupuncture.

Modern Practice: Sham Ow

The American Association of Acupuncture and Oriental Medicine is a professional society which gathers twice a year to make up new findings and complain about their fringe status in the larger medical community.They have also established guidlines for pediatric acupuncture. People who take their kids to get acupuncture are also likely to get them colonics. In many countries this would be considered abuse.

This acupuncturist also owns a gingerbread house

This acupuncturist also owns a gingerbread house.

Some studies have show acupuncture to be effective when used on animals. These studies are wrong.

A dog wonders what he has done wrong.

A dog wonders what he has done wrong.

Acupuncture Education: Blind Leading Blind

Schools of acupuncture are common in the United States where many people cannot afford real healthcare. At many of these schools, students are required to bring their own practice dummy. If a student arrives with an inflatable dummy it means that they are even more confused than their classmates and therefore qualified to study chiropractic medicine.

A graduate of Acupuncture school is granted his wizarding license

A student of acupuncture is granted his wizarding license.