Your Junk

Your junk- before I say anything humorous about it, let's have a bet. Let's see if I can go the whole time without making a joke about your junk, which, ironicallly, is what she said. Ok, I failed, which is what she said...

According to google image search, this is your junk. Yes, I know, not porn!

Just The Facts

  1. Your junk is the most precious think you will ever own, apart from maybe your prostitutes or your adopted African baby.
  2. I was amused to realise that the word 'prostitute' has the word 'tit' in it.
  3. I was amused by this because I have my junk.

Your junk- the only part of you that can get up in the morning

Everyone loves the junk- whether it's men who love using it, women who love getting it, or lesbians, who love pretend versions in their various orifices, accroding to a very informative porn site I found (and that's not to say you're not women, you sexy, sexy, curvy, blonde todger dodgers)

Education

But did you know some people prefer junk up in the trunk? It's true. Some punks love junk in the trunk, not just when drunk, but cos it looks funky when getting crunk, or so they thunk (Source: Dr Seuss). Various songs have been made about this type of junk, whereas if you made a song about penises, you'd be gay or something (well, that's two sexual minorities offended, any ideas for a shemale joke?).

Connoisseur of fine ass

Connoisseur of fine ass

Your junk- uses (there will be no mention of vacuum cleaners, for your own safety)

1. Urination- first comes the liquidation and degradation of waste, then anticipation of pissing the place, while missing your face (Source: Dr Seuss: The Rhymes He Didn't Want You To See)

2. Ejaculation- the internet, electronic version of jaculation. Widely considered to be fun, unless the girl's 'vagina' turns out to be a net, and the 'girl' turns out to be a goal-post at a World Cup stadium. Yeah, a soccer reference on Cracked- seriously, watch it you sports-shy, rest-of-world-hating nerds.

I just insulted nerds- does that count as another sexual identity- according to this photo, yes

3. Well, to be honest, that's where the non-perverted/excrutiating uses end.

4. Well, I suppose you can always start a cock fight. And I ain't talking chickens, bro. That's because cockerels aren't chickens- gotcha (well, some of you anyway).

5.Did anyone else realise how many times I've said 'well'.

6. The bullet point list is a difficult concept for me.

7. In fact, many things are difficult for me.

8. Actually, I'm pretty useless at everything

9. OH GOD!!!!! SOMEBODY MAKE THE PAIN STOPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

10. I said all this because of the pathetic size of my junk.

Tiny junk. By the way, not a problem for 14th Century Chinese Emperors. Does anyone get that? GOD I'M SO USELESSSSSSS!!!!!!!!

???????????!!!!!!!!

Did I say all that?

ACTUALLY IT'S MASSIVE!

ACTUALLY IT'S MASSIVE!

ACTUALLY IT'S MASSIVE!

ACTUALLY IT'S MASSIVE!

ACTUALLY IT'S MASSIVE!

ACTUALLY IT'S MASSIVE!

ACTUALLY IT'S MASSIVE!

Phew!

By the way girl's, it's massive