Ghost TV
With all ghost hunting shows, there are only two possible outcomes; either a ghost is found, or not (so really one possible outcome). Producers have to prepare for either scenario.
Just The Facts
- Every loosely science based channel airs multiple shows where people search for ghosts.
- They all share one flaw.
- Ghosts are not fucking real.
Overview
TV shows where a group of people search for ghosts are freaking everywhere. Despite there being a slightly different twist to each one, and them being aired on multiple networks, they all follow roughly the same format.
The typical show of this variety "casts" a group of "trained" "professionals" to "investigate" locations that have "reputations" for being "haunted".1 These investigations are recorded mostly on hand held cameras operated by the cast members, cut and edited down to an hour long episode, then aired on any network that is somewhat science based.
1 Possibly the most sarcastic quotes that have ever been required in one sentance. And yes, they are required
The Ridiculousness of These Shows
Despite how scary some of the locations appear to be, and no matter how shaky the hand held cam is, these shows all share on common flaw..... they never, ever, ever discover any ghosts, and every single viewer knows that before they even turn on the show.
The actual discovery of paranormal activity, or life after death, or anything of the like would be considered the most incredible discovery in the history of mankind. We would finally know a little of what happens after death. Religious beliefs would be proven right or wrong. The Bible, the Quran, etc might all have to be re-written. It would be such a monumental shift in what people believe and the way we live that every single person on Earth's life would change forever.
So, since this would be such an important event, we now have twenty different shows that feature a bunch of assholes walking around an old prison scaring themselves for an hour, then at the end declaring their tests to be inconclusive. If they were to really discover ghosts it would not be revealed at the end of a show on TLC or whatever channel these are on. Do they expect viewers to really believe that they would air an earth changing event like the actual discovery of an afterlife as just a normal show airing after a Stargate rerun?
So basically the flaw of these shows, and the reason they will not be around in two years, is that we already know the outcome of every show, yet they are still presented as being suspenseful, and that shit gets old real quick. We are probably about a season away from one of the shows introducing a long lost little brother, or a cast member recieving magical powers, or some other cliche that shows call on when ratings start to dip.
Tools of the "Trade"
A typical cast of a ghost hunting show consists of one or two people that have some sort of vague science background, a good-looking person, an everyman type, and someone that scares easily (sorta like how Survivor is cast). These cast members utilize a variety of ghost hunting techniques and equipment to freak themselves out when the tempurature changes, or an arbitrary reading is either higher or lower than they would expect. Some of this equipment includes:
Electomagnetic Field Scanner
The name of this device gives away what it does so let's skip the explanation. The reason it is believed that the disturbance of an electromagnetic field might indicate the presence of the paranormal is based on a study by Michael Persinger, Professor of Psychology at Laurentian University, Ontario, Canada. Professor Persinger found that when subjects were exposed to magnetic pulses they often described feeling a presence near them. So those that hunt ghosts, being absolute professionals and not, we repeat, NOT, a bunch of seven year olds, take that information and assume that the inverse must also be true and the presence of an electromagnetic field means the boogeyman is here.
Thermometers
The theory here is that when a ghost appears, the temperature in the area will drastically drop or elevate. The basis for this theory is a.... um.... well.... it happened in The Sixth Sense?
Science
Geiger Counter
It is believed that changes in radiation levels could indicate the existence of ghosts. This belief stems from, really nothing. At this point they must just working under the assumption that there is a chance that anything that can't be detected by the human eye could indicate the presence of the supernatural. On future episodes, the existence of dust mites and air may serve as indicators of ghosts.
The Shows
Ghost Hunters
Ghost Adventures
Most Haunted
Destination Truth
Ghost Lab
Paranormal State
Not sure what I believe. I feel as if its possible for ghosts to exist, but there's still a logical part I'm not sure they're real. These shows don't exactly help though, since most of it is fake. But I do love paranormal state, I met Ryan Buell in Salem this past summer.
ReplyI like Ghost Adventures from a historical viewpoint. They always take you to some cool old place and give you all these macabre facts. It's interesting. I don't think they'll ever find a ghost though.
Reply:( Isn't it sad that we can't have an awesome historical show like that without some whiny ghost crap to give an 'edge'? Maybe I just wanna hear how the person died, GA! Maybe I don't want to see a woman walking around with her head cut off! Show some respect, geez! And pan back over to the blood spot - holy crap, that must've been one crazy murder.
I like Destination Truth, it doesn't seem to take itself too seriously and the host is funnier than hell. The others are either full of themselves or irritating in the extreme.
ReplyI love it when those shows "end in a cliffhanger" where there's some "activity" (usually the movement of a needle on one of the many random devices, or the noise of the wind/breathing/floorboards on a tape recorder) and then on the next show they act like it never happened because even they know it's bullshit.
ReplyGhosts are actually not physically possible in the slightest, and not a shred of evidence has ever been discovered for anything "supernatural." This article could not be more right. Those ghost buster shows are scam artists putting on a performance for gullible idiots.
ReplyYou forgot Mystery Hunters.
ReplyThat's all I'm saying. I believe in the possibility of ghosts (I'm not committing one way or the other, but it's possible) but I'm rather used to people just blatantly making fun of ppl who believe in ghosts. So i have nothing to say about the article.
Except for what you've just said.
I HATE shows like these their so extreamly cheesy and at end its like scooby doo ending where it seems that the ghost ends up being the care taker wanting the dam pirate treasure...I mean serously they might as well go that route
Reply*Takes off the ghost's mask*
Ah ha, I knew it was Mr Jonhnson the janitor
Have you ever actually watched any of these shows in your life?
ReplyHere's the thing: they look for *evidence* of these things. Whether or not you accept it is up to the viewer to decide. Do they find things? Yes. They do, quite frequently in fact.
Shows like Ghost Hunters and Destination Truth will attempt to find more probable explanations, the other Sy-Fy (I still can't stand calling it that) Fact or Faked even goes out of its way to say whether something can be hoaxed or not.
Yes, some of them (i.e. almost all of the ones not mentioned) are a bunch of idiots sitting in the dark and screaming, but it's not like the average viewer takes those seriously.
It annoys me that Cracked, a website which takes every single scrap of psuedoscientific garbage (or failing that, pure fabrication) it can find to foist off on people who just don't have the time to know better, keeps posting this kind of junk. I guess we can add 'psuedoskepticism' the the pile.
It comes down to this: either you've experienced a ghost or you haven't. Ghost Hunters is a good thing for those of us who have. It encourages you to take a step back and think about it before you rush off to conclusions. It's a good thing for any *real* skeptic too and for the same reason. Being a skeptic is not just about saying "Nuh-uh, it doesn't agree with my thoughts so it can't be true" it's about saying "OK, these are the claims, let's look at the evidence and see what alternate explanations we can offer so we can decide what is the most probable."
So please, keep your psuedoskeptic masturbatory aids to yourself.
aggreed. some of these "writers/columnists" seem to use a hat filled with ideas for an article. they spend an afternoon googling it looking for whatever links might support their claim (or worse they straight up steal whole sections from other articles on their own website to provide filler). they then spend an hour or so "writing" an article based on what they think might come accross as either funny or "ironic." there are a couple of writers on the site that truly are funny and seem to do their research. this was not one of them.
It's not Cracked's fault that you willingly ingest the bullshit these people peddle.
Shallow-minded and lacking in humor. So distasteful I couldn't finish reading it. Skepticism is fine, but there's no need to blatantly insult those of a different opinion. There is plenty of evidence out there; it's just that there are so many skeptics that always seem to come up with even the most improbable explanations for how it was faked.
ReplyThat being said, most of the shows are pretty hokey and stupid. But that's no reason to suggest that anyone doing research in the paranormal field is full of shit.
No reason to suggest that they're not full of s**t either. Except maybe gullibility.
While it is OBVIOUS that ghosts are not real (duh!), the phenomenons that people associate with ghosts are real (like sleep paralysis). We need to study them and explain them to people to get rid of this RIDICULOUS superstition. That way I can have a good and LOGICAL explanation for that weird little girl in wet night gown standing behind m
ReplyThey have been studied and explained literally as much as is physically possible. But retards and/or people who can't get over the fact that people die decided instead not to give a fuck.
Nice topic. My cousin enjoys these shows, and it takes all my strength no to crush her feeble dreams with my ghostly powers. Maybe I'll let you do it.
ReplySee you prove your ignorance here for 1 if ghosts were proven which they obviously have..... It would be far from an event that would change everything because religion is a brainwashing method to control people and they will reject any proof and conjure up bullshit to counter it like they did with proof Jesus lived and the 30 "noahs arks".... Typical brainwashing methods if you want proof look at Muslims and read the Koran they blow themselves and their children up for a what if regardless what you tell or teach them. for 2 ghost hunters don't walk in a place looking to find ghosts they are investigators they go to these places with the intentions of debunking the claims have you ever even watched the shows?? or are you another one of those stupid people who just can't seem to shut their mouth about anything and everything
Reply Hide All See All 5 Replieswhere is this proof? please direct me to it as I would love to see it. of course it would be monumental, proof of an afterlife would be huge are you f*****g retarded. and why do so many of these shows only take place at night? do ghosts sleep during the day? no, its because it would be clear during the day just how idiotic it really is and darkness is what scares the presenters not the presence of spirits. as long as idiots such as youself keep watching this s**t they will keep making it.
Also, Ghost Hunters use the formula a little differently. Their idea is that if they don't always find ghosts, people will think it's more realistic. An article published after this one explained how magicians (the kind that bend spoons and hypnotize people at least) made people believe their trick: one way was to purposely miss your bet so that people will think it's normal and you have a power.
Actually, the episode of Ghost Hunters in the lighthouse is rigged. At one point a chair is thrown across a room and you can clearly see a wire.
Side note - I'm talking about the show Ghost Hunters, not the guys in general. Also, I might have got the wrong name.
Ducher just wants to be raped by ghosts because real people won't touch him.
You know I WOULD believe you, if you hadn't composed the entirity of that rant by quite literally smashing the keyboard against your head in an attempt to translate thought to text. Do you know what a comma is? And that questions don't require two question marks? Of course you probaly can't even comprehend that I'm insulting you so here:
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You should understand that.
NO WHERE..Absolutely..NO WHERE in the Koran does it instruct anyone to blow themselves up. That is not a part of Islam, that is a war tactic practiced by several cultures, including Japan (WWII) and Vietnamese (Vietnam war)..The Palestinians turned to this when they had no other means of competing with the overwhelming weaponry of Israel. It has ZERO to do with any religion.
I loved Ghost Hunters for two episodes before I realized they were being totally serious. It's like finding out Stephen Colbert is just f*****g crazy.
ReplyThat was a terrifying analogy. Now I'm actually picturing Colbert just being crazy. You've made my day that much more depressing, Mike. And scary! Your name is quite appropriate.
Well everybody knows that Most Haunted is bullshit. Not because it's British but because 70% of their evidence is from psychics, which I'd trust to detect ghosts about as much as a CD player.
ReplyIt's bullshit because their psychic gets possessed at least twice per episode. Any other paranormal show will have maybe two possessions in their entire run.
But Ghost Hunters and Adventures seem sort of legit. Adventures is particularly enjoyable because their lead investigator is basically just what happens when you hand Dane Cook a camera, lock him in a dark place and tell him to find ghosts.
In Most Haunted's defense, they *did* expose one of their 'Psychics' was a phony by setting a trap for him. It was pretty hilarious.
I only see "Ghost hunters". Sometimes look really fake but yeah, I have fun watching and Dave Tango is awesome.
ReplySteve and Tango are the best! Although I couldn't get into their spin off show Ghost Hunters Academy. Also, somebody posted about the Lighthouse episode, where a chair "flies across the room". It only moved a couple inches, so if you had "clearly seen the wire" then how did a couple inches become across the room? I think they are an exaggerator or they didn't actually see it. I did see it, and I didn't see a wire. Although my eye sight is pretty bad! : )
Awesome article. Well written and hilariously true.
ReplyThe only show I really like is Ghost Hunters because there are actually times where they admit "Hey, there aren't any ghosts here, it's just a draft/creaky floorboard/etc. etc." and then go on to explain that to the owners of the property. And after having a couple strange supernatural-ish encounters myself, they make the whole "existence of ghosts" thing even more believable to me.
I have an Anal Ghost.
ReplyI think it's called a fart.
I f*****g hate Destination Truth.
ReplyThey go tromping through the forest shouting, running, making all sorts of noise, stay there a few hours, then decide nothing's there and leave.
Notice they never see any of the common animals there either? It's because animals aren't totally retarded, and run from crazy s**t like that.
Let's have a real life comparison: I've been hunting on the same property my entire life. There are deer, hogs, and coyotes all over. I've only seen, one coyote, and no hogs. That's with feeders, camo, and staying as quiet as possible.
I watch that show for two reasons. Josh Gates makes me laugh a lot, and those two stupid girls that freak out over EVERYTHING.
Grade-Fucking-A article.
ReplyThis is pretty much my favourite article ever.
Reply