Miss California

Carrie Prejean, Miss California in Donald Trump's Miss USA pageant and the recipient of pageant-sponsored fake boobs, lost her title for "failing to live up to her contractual obligations." Speaking fluent Trump-ese, we offer a rough translation:

Grapefruit sized, eh? You have chosen ... unwisely.

Just The Facts

  1. Prejean and her supporters believe she lost her Miss California title because she stated her opposition to gay marriage during the interview portion of the Miss USA competition.
  2. According to Donald Trump, Prejean's opinions "take on more importance" than regular people's "because Carrie is totally beautiful."
  3. Prejean excused semi-nude shots that emerged after her pageant controversy as "I am a Christian, and I am a model...Models pose for pictures, including lingerie and swimwear photos."

Carrie Prejean: A Version of Christianity We Can All Get Behind

We usually ignore Donald Trump's annual search for new tail, the Miss USA pageant, since it's a bastard knock-off of the Miss America pageant, and also because we couldn't care less about goddamn beauty pageants. This year the competition turned into a hotbed of controversy after Miss California visibly pissed off judge and celebrity blogger Perez Hilton with her answer to his question about gay marriage (she's not a fan). To be fair, she did say "No offense" and that she thought it was great Americans are free to choose same-sex or "opposite" marriage - which is absolutely true in all but 44 states and according to the Federal Government.

The Fallout

Amid claims her opinion cost her the Miss USA tiara, photos of Prejean "modeling" topless in her panties were released, as was the news that the Miss California pageant board had paid for her breasts. According to Prejean, this was all retribution for her "sorry, homos" response to Hilton.
There was an initial investigation that she'd violated her Miss California contract with the nipple-slipping shots, but Donald Trump graciously "forgave" her for being a hot piece of ass. Ultimately she was fired after she started working the conservative Christian lecture circuit instead of showing up for her Miss California duties - reading to school children, cutting the ribbons at the opening of strip-malls and washing Donald Trump's car in a bikini.

The Future

Prejean should honestly be grateful she was forced to turn in the tiara. The only pageant contestants we remember are the ones involved in scandals - Vanessa Williams being stripped of the Miss America crown because her teen nudie pics showed up in Penthouse was the best thing that ever happened to us her, launching a singing, film (if you can count Eraser as a film) and television career.

Prejean already has a book deal, speaking tours and reality show offers lined up. And if nothing else, she's made sure no one cares about the woman who actually won Miss USA this year.