The Mars Volta

The Mars Volta is a band that prides itself on combining progressive rock with jazz fusion and Latin American music, having energetic live shows, and being completely unlistenable.

Just The Facts

  1. Mars Volta songs tend to be somewhere between three hours and eight weeks in length.
  2. They fuse a wide variety of terrible genres to create an awful sound to call their own.
  3. The most skilled musicians from The Mars Volta are either guest musicians from other bands, or members that have left the group (ie, their old drummer).
  4. The person writing this actually likes some of their songs, so if you're a die-hard MV fan, calm down.

The Mars Volta minstrels and their labyrinthine burdens

(aka the Mars Volta's members and what their job are.)

Cedric Bixler-Zavala

Job: Creating lyrics/gibberish, wailing.

To his credit, Zavala sounds kind of like Robert Plant. However, while Plant sang mostly about babes he was gonna leave and occasionly made some songs about Lord of the Rings-related stuff, all of Zavala's songs are based on the things that a crazy homeless man sees after he looses his tinfoil hat.

Omar Rodríguez-López

Job: Guitar (Electric/acoustic/Lovecraftian)

Lopez's can do two things with his guitar: take you to a magical realm the likes of which you've never seen, or make you hate having the ability to hear. "Televators" has some nice stuff in it, and "L'Via L'Viaquez" has a pretty groovy riff, but for God's sake, every time he steps on one of those distortion/wammy pedals or uses "dissonance" it's like having your brain get kicked in the dick.