Cubicles

Getting used to your cubicle can be hard. Thats why we came up with an etiquette to keep the cubicles fun and exciting. Just because your stuck in a box, doesent mean you can't fuck around with people.

The Proper Way To Use A Cubicle

Your Shenanigans Being Found.

Just The Facts

  1. A cubicle is a partially enclosed workspace that is ussually grey and boring and not a place where gladiators duel.
  2. Cubicles are meant to be private and used as a place for work only. No gladiators allowed.
  3. The cubicle is a great place to rub your trouser dragon.

Cleanliness

Cleanliness is very important to avoid when it comes to the cubicles. It is necessary to create a home-like enviornment inside and outside of your cubicle. Whether you live in a cave or a large rainforest area or on top of motherfucking Mount Olympus, it is important to let your co-workers know that you are here to stay and plan on making their lives as miserable as yours.

Instead of throwing trash away, attempt to launch it into the farthest cubicle away from you. Consistently do this until the person residing in the cubicle is angered. Don't panic, this is a sign of victory. It shows that you are capable of anything and should motivate you to catapult more trash into more workspaces.

They will appreciate that you share with others.

They will appreciate that you share with others.

Masturbation

When you enter the office, you will find that there are many attractive people walking around that you would like to bone. Fortunately, the cubicle is a perfect spot the wank your junk all over the place. In fact, the cubicle was designed with this purpose in mind. The walls are short, so that fellow workers can appreciate your jerking skills, and the dramatic depiction of your "O" face.

Pictured Above: The "O" Face

Pictured Above: The "O" Face

It is also important to reffer to the Cleanliness section when shooting your wad. A load of love juice can be shot anywhere and at anyone around the office, especially at authority figures. Safety is also a top priority when it comes to cumming. Some office workers can be weak-willed and may not be able to handle the awesomeness of your junk thrusts. This is why it is important to inform co-workers earlier in the day that you might be having a jerk-off session after lunch. Remember, accidents can be prevented.

Couldn't handle my junk thrusts.

Couldn't handle my junk thrusts.

Making A Fort

In the office, one can never know when they will be attacked by fellow co-workers with giant plastic swords and shields. This is why it is important to keep your cubicle safe and secure from the invading mongolian, Jeff. Cubicles are essentially boring hobo shelters, so it is easy to set up a good defence in this shithole.

Step 1: Get a fucking roof.

The cubicles greatest weakness is it not having a motherfucking ceiling. This can be especially bad when dealing with water balloon fights, or when Jeff decides to throw a paperweight up in the air, only to land right in your butt-ugly face. Ceilings can be made from almost anything, wooden planks, arcade machines, mongolian corpses, you know, shit you can find around the office. But don't be a douche-nozzle and use a fucking blanket. Blankets are fucking weak and dumb, the only thing a blanket is good for is making a tent and then burning it down while laughing at other office campers. And always be sure you eliminate mongolians trying to shoot arrows and destroy your ceiling made from pirate planks.

Jeff, from accounting.

Jeff, from accounting.

Step 2: No girls allowed

I don't care if you think this is gay, because it is. But forts are strictly only permited for men. and masculine animals. Lions are good. No matter how hot you think Karen is, she is probably a Soviet spy waiting for your retarded ass to invite her into your lion den. So don't let her in, ever!

Access Denied!

Access Denied!

All in all you should have a pretty decent fort. Just make sure to keep a good eye on your defences and your ammunition. Once this is done, invasion of other cubicles is an option.

A Motherfucking Cubicle Fort

A Motherfucking Cubicle Fort