Friends Of Friends

If you ever leave the house, you've heard that creepy dude nobody seems to know tell you how he boned that supermodel after fighting off DOB. Protip: He didn't.

He banged her. Really. Just ask the friends of his friends.

Just The Facts

  1. Friends of Friends (FoF) is a way to "prove" some impossible story.
  2. FoF are the perfect cover because it shows that someone witnessed this act!
  3. It's bullshit.

What It Is

We've all been there. Hanging around with some of your best friends, when one of them starts weaving a tale so incredible, so magical, so goddamn spec-fucking-tacular, that you know it has to be bullshit, right?

But then, when the words "Yeah right dude. Bull-fucking-shit" are halfway out your mouth, he launches a pre-emptive strike: "I swear it's true! Just ask my friends' friends!"

And just like that, you are hurtled into a new world, one where anything seems to be possible. Tears may begin to well in your eyes, and everywhere you look, possibilities abound...

No.

Why It Works

FoF is so effective because people have an inherent desire to believe the come-from-behind Rudy-esque stories where the Joe Everyman makes off with the Lombardi trophy and a Dodge Caravan full of Victoria's Secret underwear models (Ask Dan O'Brien about the time he did this. The friends of his friends will SO vouch for him!)

Nobody will believe stories like this though if there is no reason to believe them. Somebody HAS to have seen them. For proof of concept, knock boots with a real supermodel. Then tell everybody about it. Do NOT validate your claim in any way, shape, or form. Nobody will believe you. Even though it really happened.

But tell the same story, and validate it in a remotely believeable way, i.e, FoF, and soon people will be scrambling for details, and swapping stories about how every one of you has an army of girls on speed dial, waiting to bone.

Why Does FoF Exist?

The same reason Hollywood exists. There are only so many times you can hear about your best friend striking out with the hot girl at the bar, or about the latest developments with his mother before it gets boring. Wouldn't you rather live in a world where there is maybe a tiny, infentesimal possiblilty that you could board a rocket ship destined for the planet Tittorion where you shall be worshipped as a God?

Isn't that what we ALL dream of?