Romania

"România" is a medium large country known for its beautiful scenery, clement weather and large wolf population…… and bears, lots of bears, so many in fact they roam the cites dumpsters endangering the food supply of hobos.

Shown: A hobo fighting for its food. Not shown: actual romanian cityzen.

Just The Facts

  1. Romania holds 60% of Europes Bears.
  2. Romania holds 40% of Europes Wolves
  3. People still live in freaking Romania. 18,580,074 people and 2,134,521 gypsies to be precise.
  4. Romania has the largest freaking parlamentary building ever built by communists or anyone else for that matter.
  5. And I'm still working on this. yeah... maybe

TrasilvaniA ! - no it's not a heavy metal band

Transylvania is the biggest and culturally most diverse part of Romania, due to the fact that it didn't have to do much whit Romania until 1918! Yep, the biggest part of the country was kind of never theirs, it was Austro-Hungarians or something near to that, the point is that today there are Romanians (obviously), Hungarians, Germans, Austrians, all in the same place pissed of about each other. They may suppress it but the truth is we are all racist. The HUN's claim this piece of land being theirs "Ha baszdmeg ez Erdely", the Romanian claim it's rightfully theirs because of the ancestors, and the Germans and Austrians don't give a shit, or moved back home, or want to move home, and bitch about it like I do.

The only thing uniting people in this piece of land is the traditional drink tuica which sounds like this "tsooiycoah". Also, to note that tuica is a clear drink really, it's kind of the inbreed brother of vodka but a billion times more insane, some variants are made out of... you know... chicken shit... no really some Romanian dude looked at some pile of chicken shit and thought "Hmm I bet I can brew a fine drink out of it" and he totally did, and drank himself to awesomeness afterwards, and made everyone forget about racism, so the Romanian dude became "shogoar" to the Hungarian and vice versa, and like before the germans didn't give a shit, they liked their Pisswasser.... only if they have listened.

the source of racism

Tara Romaneasca aka Valahia.

This is the southern part of Romania and it is divided by the Danube river from its neighbour Bulgaria, which is officially the lamest country eva'. Even lamer than ours... so yeah... I'm a bit schadenfroh.

The most notable ruler of this country or "voievodat" was this dude called Vlad Tepes who was probably the biggest badass ever to walk the face of this planet (at least until Chuck Norris came along), his motto was "if you don't want me(as ruler), I still want you(being my bitch)". And so he followed his motto, after being kicked out of the county or "voievodat" a few times, he came right back and gave a finger to all of his previous non supporters........ up theirs asses! Also to note 'bout this Vlad boy know from Max Payne II is that he was known to his enemies as the mothereffing "Dracula" ! He gained his notoriety by drinking no really, drinking the blood of his enemies(probably whit some chicken shit added for spiciness), regardless of them being killed in battle or for his own please, like when he killed 40 boyars just so he can rest easy that nobody will fuck whit him and his autoritaaaah. He clearly was overcompensating for something, or maybe he was pissed of that everybody was thinking he was gay just because he sparkled in the sun...

I'm totally not gay man ! chicks dig this shit. Y'all be jealous in 600 years!

Bucharest

Bucharest is the biggest city in Romania and quite obviously the capital of it. It's houses a freaking 10% of all the people in Romania. Also this is the city with the biggest, most awesome parliamentary building ever!

50 cents crib isn't so big now isn't it

It is also the heaviest marble building in the world, and it has an underground tunnel complex with enough place to drive Ferraris and Lambos in it. And if you ask kindly, the prime minister will let you race your sport's car in it, no really, you only have to be an Englishmen or American, and have a video camera with you,.... also don't forget to check out the Top Gear video at the end of this topic. As mentioned in the "just the facts" section it was built in the communist era by the infamous... or kind of... dictator Nicolaie Ceasescu. The reason for it's construction was the need for him to stay somewhere "cousy" , and so he envisioned this "modest" place for himself and some russian friends, whom he'd invite to throw a commy party or two some time, while the average people (well kind of 98% of the population) was living in shitty houses built out of cowshit and mud, just like you do now in trailer parks.

they even made pens out of cowshit

God damned gypsies

Working on it! Due to lazines this part won't be finished at leas for another 3 days(don't ever belive me)... but to save it I need 150 words so... don't read the following.

THIS IS ONLY WIKIPEDIA

In the Romani language, rom is a masculine noun, meaning "man, husband", with the plural roma. Romani is the feminine adjective, while romano is the masculine adjective. Some Romanies use Rom or Roma as an ethnic name, while others (such as the Sinti, or the Romanichal) do not use this term as a self-ascription for the entire ethnic group.[20]

Sometimes, rom and romani are spelled with a double r, i.e., rrom and rromani. In this case rr is used to represent the phoneme /���/ (also written as ��� and rh), which in some Romani dialects has remained different from the one written with a single r. The rr spelling is common particularly in Romania, in order to distinguish from the endonym for Romanians (sg. rom���¢n, pl. rom���¢ni).

The car that put the country in motion.

The automotive history, of this country is so vast that I'd need years to write it down.It started in 1968 when Dodge Charger RT was released with the 485 cui V8 Romania was in need for a vehicle that'll move the volk... like volkswagen without the wagen really. To answer this need the dictator president Nicolae Ceasescu signed a contract with Renault for a cheap reliable car, and got the mighty and all powerful Renault 12 design licensed, witch was one of the most technologically advanced production car available in Europe at the time, which was really awesome comparing it to what the Russians and East Germans had.

Yeeah tune that shit baby !

For real life comparison between high end tuned versions of Russian and Romanian cars take a look at this !

How they screwed up

Basically they pretty much didn't do anything to it for 35 years straight ! From 1969 to 2004 they built basically the same god damned car adding some cheap plastic here and there and labelled it differently like Dacia 1310 or Dacia 1410 etc...

They even exported it to Canada, but none to the USA, because it was too small for the average American to fit in, and the puny little 1397 cmc engine delivered only 64hp.

People Romania is proud of !

Henri Coanda (1886 -1972)

Is one of the most respected Romanians for inventing everyday stuff like the hovercraft, jets, those fancy aerodynamic trains. No really he was the first ever human being that ever built a freaking jet powered aeroplane. Well he did live 'till the 70tees so it ain't that big deal... no... NO he built it only after 7 years from the Wright brothers first ever flight, that's like barely learning how to walk and than jumping straight into a V8 powered muscle car. He clearly didn't like the concept of a propeller, maybe because he thought "how the fuck can I fire a machinegun if there's that annoying piece of wood spinning in front of it"

Henri Coanda's first impression: "Fuck yeah, now let's take out those bears !"

Earlier I mentioned hovercrafts and those fancy aerodynamic trains, well he basically invented the hovercraft, and sold it to the U.S. where it was made top secret, and yeah he pretty much understood aerodianamicz aerodynamics (damn it's even hard to write that word) so he couldn't bare to watch those boxy trains in those days he pretty much made them look like the freaking TGV only a lot more awesome !

He loved his jets

Aurel Vlaicu (1882 - 1913)

Just like Henri Coanda, he was a pioneer in flight, and planes, he built 2 and a half planes, well because he couldn't finish the third one only because he had the balls to try and fly over the Carpathian Mountains in his rugged second plane which crashed and sadly killed him. Let's note that his attempt took place when planes barely took of, just wishing to fly over the next hill without crashing. He was probably the ballsiest and brainiest Romanian of his time... an awesome dude, he can now be found on the 50 lei bill.

Mircea Eliade (1907 - 1986)

He is I think well know in U.S.A. cause you named an University after him so I just mentioned him so you know... it would be nice if you knew he was one of us... and that leads us to the next Romanian that Romania is proud of !

he's also responsible for... you name it.

Daniel Negreanu

He's basically Canadian, but his parents are Romanian so he still counts.

He could buy the entire country with that

Lady freaking Gaga

Nah I'm just shiting you she's far too crazy even for our batshit insane standards... she's clearly from "outta space".