The Golden Girls

When Susan Harris, creator of The Golden Girls saw the finished pilot episode for the first time, she was heard to utter the words, “"Now I am become Death, the destroyer of worlds."

The series finale featured Drothy Zbornak marrying Frank Drebin. Their wedding night inspired Drebin�s line in The Naked Gun 2  ½ : The Smell of Fear, �I�m swimming in raw sewage � I love it!�

The show would have been much improved if it had incorporated more of a snuff film vibe.

Just The Facts

  1. 1980s sitcom about four old broads who never shut up
  2. Ran for seven godforsaken years on NBC
  3. Quentin Tarantino appeared in an episode as Elvis impersonator

The Characters

Dorothy Zbornak - Best known for her role as Ackmena the bartender in The Star Wars Holiday Special, Bea Arthur played Dorothy Zbornak, a substitute teacher and possible pre-op transsexual. Dorothy was sarcastic and a bit grumpy, although the grumpiness was probably due to priapism.

Rose Nylund - Betty White played Rose Nylund, an amusing mixture of nice old lady and Faulknerian idot man child. On the show, Rose was known for telling goofy stories about hometown of St. Olaf, never understanding anything ever, and in a hilarious mix-up, almost getting AIDS through a blood transfusion.

Blanche Devereux - Rue Mclanahan's role as the world's least attractive stripper in Walk the Angry Beach prepared her for the role of Blanche Devereaux, the world's oldest slut. Despite looking like Skeletor, Blanche Devereux had a steady line of suitors, all of whom were eager to consummate a relationship with a woman so brittle that mild foreplay would shatter her pubic bone .

Sophia Petrillo - Estelle Getty ,well-known for her roles in action movies like Deadly Force and Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot!, played Sophia, Dorothy's mom. Sophia was known for her many wisecracks and stories about her life in Sicily. Although it was not suggested or implied at any point on the show, it is entirely likely that Sophia had a torrid love affair with Italian dictator Benito Mussolini.

Summary of a Typical Episode

Each show began with the characters taking a break from waiting to die in order to get involved in some kind of shenanigans or hijinks involving a man they were dating, a relative showing up and causing some kind of problem, or Old Country Buffet not allowing them a fourth serving of Old Fashioned Mashed Potatoes. Sophia would talk about Sicily, Rose would talk about Saint Olaf, Dorothy would say something acerbic, and Blanche would talk about what a total whore she was. There were often famous celebrity guest stars; David Leisure guest starred a couple of times as well. After the least amusing 30 minutes since Alain Resnais's Holocaust documentary Night and Fog, everything went back to the way it was at the beginning of the episode, leaving the four women alone to sit around in the adult diapers and contemplate their wasted lives.

Cultural Impact

The show was phenomenally popular from its inception, but to be fair, it was the 80s and everyone was doing coke. People back then thought that 227 and Silver Spoons were funny too. Some critics have claimed that The Golden Girls was an inspiration for Sex and the City, and yet no war crimes tribunal has ever been convened about this. The show lives on in syndication, and once Betty White and Rue McClanahan have died, will be aired before a live studio audience in Hell for all eternity.