Steven Tyler

Steven Tyler is a rock star, an American Idol judge, and a singer of songs your parents enjoy.

Steven Tyler today- looking good, man!

Just The Facts

  1. Steven Tyler was born Stephen Victor Tallarico in New York.
  2. When he was 27, he gained custody of a 14 year old groupie so they could live together.
  3. When open, Steven Tyler's mouth takes up approximately half of his face.

Early Aerosmith

Back in the 60s, a young Steven Tyler drummed for his own band, Chain Reaction. After meeting with Joe Perry of the creatively titled Joe Perry's Jam Band, he agreed to merge the two bands as long as he could be the lead singer, presumedly because singers get all the chicks.

Okay, maybe not always...

What Steven Tyler wanted all along

After a lot of hard work, perseverance, and three years, Aerosmith finally found success with their self-titled debut album. Then came the drugs. Heroin, cocaine, stimulants- you name it, Steven probably did it. In fact, he and his bandmate Joe Perry were nicknamed "The Toxic Twins" for their outrageous abuse of drugs. As you'd probably expect, all that drug use dug Aerosmith into a pretty deep hole. Their popularity greatly declined, and seeing Steven collapse onstage became a normal occurrence.

Sobering Up and Coming Back

In 1986, Steven's bandmates finally had enough of his shit and held an intervention. Ironically, said bandmates were still doing drugs, and none of them bothered checking into rehab until Steven was finished with it.

Here's to you, other members of Aerosmith.

Steven and the rest of Aerosmith did end up sobering up, enabling them to make a comeback. A comeback full of pop rock songs still played on mixed music stations today.

Nowadays

You'd expect him to still be cool, right? Well, as stated earlier, he now judges American Idol. With Jennifer Lopez.

Oh, how the mighty have fallen.

It appears Steven is going down the same desperate road most old musicians are taking these days. You know how most people, possibly including yourself, only know Flavor Flav because of his various reality shows? Or how most people think of The Osbournes when Ozzy's name is mentioned? Yeah, that road. And there's nothing we can do about it.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go download Rocks, eat some Cool Ranch Doritos, and attempt to figure out where he went wrong. Perhaps it was when he fell off that stage back in '09...