Bill And Ted\'s Excellent Adventure

Bill and Ted\'s Excellent Adventure is a movie that was made at some point in the 80's (19) I think. I refuse to do any research on this subject at all, since I know it so well. Also, the backslash in the word Ted\'s is intentional.

An ad-libbed moment from right before filming.

A friend of mine and I outside the 7-11, when we heard about how awesome B&TEA was.

I am starting to realize that nearly all images from this movie involve people standing around looking confused. THERE IS NO LOGICAL REASON FOR THIS

Just The Facts

  1. Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure is maybe one of the top 100 movies ever made.
  2. The second one was really odd.
  3. No movie has handled time travel with more delicacy and precision as B&TEA

The only 5 confusing things about Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure.

5. The part where all of the historical figures are coming out of the phone booth (SPOILER ALERT)

Comic genius here. Bill, in order not to alert his mother to the fact that he has kidnapped various personages of interest from across time and space, decides to give each a pseudonym. So, Beethoven becomes 'Dave' Beeth Oven, and we get Maxine of Arc, Herman the Kid. Bob "Genghis" Khan. So-crates Johnson, and Dennis Frood (actually Sigmund Freud). Then, for some reason, Bill blanks on what to name Abraham Lincoln, and resignedly introduces him as 'Abraham Lincoln'. What the hell happened there? Bill couldn't think of any other name besides Abraham? Also, why keep their fake names so close to their real ones? Normally this movie pays close attention to the little details, so this was surprising.

4. The part with So-crates from the History Final

So-crates is describing to the students of San Dimas High's combined History classes (by the way, if all of the students in that auditorium are just from that one teacher's history classes, then what does he have, like 150 students per class?). ANYWAY, So-crates is explaining his thoughts through Ted, who is acting as his interpreter of pant-o-mime (because So-crates speaks Greek - see? Attention to detail). So-crates is saying he loves certain things, and he mimes swinging a bat, to which Ted explains "he" - and So-crates, who inexplicably understood what he said, reacts like Ted just kicked his child/boy/lover in the nuts (TAKE THAT, my ancient Greek readers!) Here is the problem - what the hell WAS he saying? What else could that motion have signified? Watch this video at 4:17 for the bonus fruit.

3. What the hell is up with Wyld Stallyns' music?

At one point in the film, as you are well aware, the Bill and the Ted go to the utopian future which their music has created. But listen, why do two guys whose influences are Van Halen, Led Zeppelin, and Iron Maiden make music that sounds like Tears for Fears (seriously, the song that causes the planets to align sounds a whole lot like 'Sowing the Seeds of Love', which caused nothing to align, as far as I know). We hear them wailing out when they first get the band together, so at what point did they stop and say "You know what? To hell with Slayer, let's make terrible music." Oh wait, every band did this in 2001, so I guess it was around then.

4. Did Bill and Ted's History teacher bang Bill's stepmom? Watch from 3:01 to 3:14.

5. How the hell did Keanu Reeve's career take off, but not Bill's?

Not really a point from the movie, but hey, fuck you. Looky here - in certain cases, a pair of people have come up, got noticed as a pair, then gone their own way, famousness-wise. Matt Damon and Ben Affleck. DJ Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince. Harold and Kumar. But this has to be the first time the less talented member of the pair became more famous - and I am not the only one who disparages Keanu Reeves. It's a pretty common thing to put down his theoretical acting ability (see every Cracked article, ever), and you can't even say he is that good-looking (better than Alex Winter [Bill], but still). What the hell is up with that? Did anyone see B&TEA and said, "That Ted kid - people will pay good money to see him play this same character (minus the charm and comedy) in his next 10 movies, " [Bonus: You see how I ended that quote with a comma? That's so the hypothetical moviegoer could potentially go on to say other things - that's giving your characters OPTIONS]