Microsoft

Microsoft began as a small software company providing implementations of it's BASIC variation on Atelier 8800 personal computers.
It was around this time that BIll Gates began working on a Chess playing computer capable of developing into an omnipresent super intelligence that would inevitably end up running the company.

The friendly face of Human Resources at Microsoft

In-between working on his Chess playing super robot Bill Gates and Steve Ballmer began ruminating on the name of their company. Several ideas were brought forward including "Wild Bills Software" and "Gates and Balls Software" however it was eventually decided to name the company after Bill's cat; Microsoft.
After becoming exceedingly wealthy Bill and Ball decided to focus on the future of the home computer industry; GUI operating environments.
After plagiairising several ideas the two decided on Microsoft Windows for the name (after scouring the room for a random noun) and thus the most widely used operating system in the world was born.

Innovation!

Meanwhile Bill Gate's arch nemesis, the tight sweater wearing Steve Jobs stroked his moustache and cackled from his dark, one bedroom apartment. He had also been working on his own operating system Macintosh System 1 and in doing so inadvertantly began one of the most pointless and irritating flame wars in the history of anything electronic.

Choose your side.

In 1985 Bill and Ball released Windows; a confusing mess of an operating system that made many people rich.
In the years that followed Microsoft developed more contemporary operating systems that were famously named with inspired originality; Windows 2.0, Windows 3.0, Windows 3.1, Windows 3.1 for Work Groups and Microsft Bob. Microsoft Bob is now a taboo subject that can get you stoned in Iran for mentioning.

 

 

 

After Bill and Ball took the world by storm and everyone had patted everyone else on the back 10 years had past and it was suddenly 1995.

Bill Gates famously left this press conference by turning into a
toaster and flying away.

Windos 95 was advertised heavily and much to people's surprise and horror the Rolling Stones even crawled out from their shallow graves to awkwardly play "Start Me Up" with rigored limbs.
Windows 98 followed three years later and suddenly reliability issues began to arise on BBS and Message Boards.

 

Microsoft released Windows 98 Second Edition that rectified many problems users were having, including adding USB support. Unfortunately Windows 98 SE didn't come bundled with an application that stopped users from installing AOL demo disks that they carpet bombed stupid people with in the 90's.
Following the runaway success of Windows 98 Microsoft released Windows 2000 and ME which were essentially the same operating system with varying levels of reliabiltiy (Windows ME didn't install on occassion and even when it did install there was no guarantee it would even run).
Windows XP was easily the apex of Microsoft's percieved greatness and would eventually become the most used operating system in the world.
Due to the huge install base of Windows XP all over the world it was assumed that Windows was a horrible OS with huge problems. Unfortunately these people didn't seem to have been born with common sense.
When an Operating System has an install base of around 60% market share in the US alone it can assumed at least 1 or 2 of these people are going to have problems.

Prototype name for Windows Vista.

In 2006 Microsoft released Windows Vista and assuming every person in the world has the same IQ as a child who wears a helmet to school they bundled ridiculous security measures with the OS that renders it unusable in some situations.



 

Today Microsoft own half of the worlds oil, produce and heavy industry and is rumored to be run by SkyNet - the fictional super computer that is said to have almost eradicated humanity in the Terminator storyline.
Although Microsoft's primary threat would seem like Apple most people theorise Google will release an OS, raise and army and take Silicon Valley with a righteous zeal not seen since the Crusades.

Lock your doors.