Cookie Monster

After kick-starting a generation of lard arses let’s take an up-to-date view on the worlds furriest fat ass.)

Sesame Streets answer to a methadone program.

Just The Facts

  1. Also referred to as the Robert Downey Jr of cookies
  2. Cookie Monster is his ghetto name...
  3. Sesame St recognises that C is for cookie, Oxford medical dictionary recognises that C is for Coronary bypass surgery

Cookie gone bye bye

Remember the days when you could walk into a McDonalds or Burger King without the world judging you as 'that fat bastard'? Or those care free day's when you could nom your way through a full fat, sugar coated, heart attack inducing snack without giving a Rhett Butler damn about it? Well you'll also remember the loveable, furry, slightly schizophrenic cookie fetishist AKA Cookie Monster then won't you?

For years we grew up with Sesame street learning the importances of one little sheep leading to two little sheep and that the letter of the day being whatever the shizz nizz Master Kermit wanted it to be, we also learned how to say the words OM NOM NOM NOM whilst stuffing our faces with cookies like a deranged binge eater and for that we have you to thank Cookie! For today's youth that dream of being able learn the art of giving a good nomming to some cookie has gone thanks to all those who took a googly eyed piece of blue fabric with a hand up its backside seriously. Cookie has had to clean up his act because of FAT, OBESE, PANTING AFTER THREE STEPS, FOUR CHINNED CHILDREN! there I said it......

Cookie is no longer the party food animal he used to be, it's true what they say KIDS RUIN YOUR LIFE! Nope gone are the days where Cookie could enjoy a dough fix on the street without any questions asked because now cookies are a 'sometimes food'.

Cookie Monster revealed that, before he ate his first cookie, he belives his name was Sid............ sounds like one of those Meth PSA's....

So now we are stuck with a furry vegan who likes eggplants and makes appearences on the Martha Stewart show.............. Hardcore.

In depth analysis of the Cookie Monster

Assuming that the Cookie Monster had free will for an instant he would most certainly take the 'easy way' over the carrot any day.

We have evidence.