Apathy

Don't care? Neither do we.

How do you find a picture of apathy? You don't.  You find something creepier. That's soap.

Just The Facts

  1. Whatever.
  2. Hey, we're out of Red Bull.
  3. Whatever.

The Art of Not Giving a Shit

Apathy is a studied philosophy around the world, ranging from our great forefathers of the Ancient world to you, Mike. Go outside, maybe. Put down that energy drink. You know you have one.

But, like we suspect, you are still reading this article after not having gone outside...you know what? It's cool. Whatever.

Some Famous Practitioners of Apathy

Christopher Columbus

"Who gives a fuck? I stole someone's land, who gives a shit if I'm not techically in India?"

Switzerland

We believe the nation formally known as the Swiss Confederation is calling it "neutrality" these days.

Any Guy Who Sings "I'll Be Home For Christmas"

The last line of that song absolutely destroys any commitments he promised throughout the entirety of the song. Veritably announcing that he doesn't give a fuck whether or not he'll be home for Christmas.

Hamlet

"To be, or not to be. That is the question."

A.) Not a question

B.) Make up your damn mind.

Some Fundamental Principles of Apathy

1.) Must have general air of not giving a flying fuck

2.) May procrastinate, sleep a lot, urinate in bed or Depends

3.) For guys: may not have shaved in a while; for girls: may not have shaved ever

4.) May claim to be "sticking it to the man" which in this case means smoking a lot of pot

5.) Includes but is not limited to: most college students, high school students, cats, the braindead*

* Does not include zombies. Zombies are not generally considered to be apathetic. Zombies do in fact have goals. The acquisition of brains, for example.