Is This Politician An Alien?

Real red-blooded Americans hate two things 1)Aliens and 2) Politicians. It turns out these are not mutually exclusive categories.

Either way we're going to get probed.

Just The Facts

  1. One of these two groups is going to blow up the world, but will Aliens or Politicians win that race?
  2. You know how people look like their dogs sometimes? Yeah, it's kind of like that.
  3. It is true that sci-fi movie makers make their aliens look like horrible things found on Earth so this could be off a bit.

Cracked on Is this Politician an Alien?

We here at cracked are pretty sure this is going to be the next big party game. So sure in fact that we've invested hundred of bytes on this article. It's not like the internet is free. It has come to our attention that many politicians have a lot in common with aliens and it's time to point out who these aliens amongst us are. We've all read enough Skull Invasion Marvel Comics to know that the enemy is amongst us... so gather up your lasers, common cold germs, and boards with really big nails and get ready to ride out to save humanity... because...

It's time to play... Is This Politician an Alien!

Is Michael Dukakis really Marvin the Martian?

Marvin the Martian enacts large scale plans to make himself the ruler of the universe but is always undone by his small mistakes. Michael Dukakis enacted a large campaign for the presidency but was undone when this photo op went wrong.

"Does this helmet make me look fat?" ................"Does this helmet make me look douchey?"

Was Teddy Kennedy really a Predator Alien?

The Alien from Predator was known as a hardass who preyed upon the unsuspecting overpowering them with his speedy moves. Ted Kennedy is dead now so we will not finish the obvious joke here.

"I'm going to eat you!" ........................................................... "I'm going to eat your wife!"

Is Hillary Clinton really a Mars Attacks Alien?

The Mars Attacks Martians pretended they were harmless and came in peace but were secretly bent on dominating the Earth through any means. Hillary Clinton was first introduced to America as the sympathetic and loving wife standing by her man who was then accused of cheating on her with Gennifer Flowers.

Huge Brain, Little Nose...................................... Huge nose, Little brain

Is Mitch McConnell really Jabba the Hutt?

Jabba the Hutt is known for using draconian methods to keep his backwater unimportant little dirtball of planet known as Tatooine in order. He's most famous for putting a bounty on former employee Han Solo. Mitch McConnel pretty much does the same thing to his unimportant little dirtball of a state known as Kentucky. He pretty much put a bounty on former key Republican allies in Kentucky such as former governor Ernie Fletcher and soon to retire senator Jim Bunning.

Did either of these guys know they were going to get their picture made? I hope not.

Is Arlen Specter really Darth Vader?

Darth Vader appeared to be a cold-hearted Empire running machine until the mask was ripped away revealing a frail physically challenged old man. Arlen Specter appeared to be cold-hearted Pennsylvania Republican party empire running machine until the mask was ripped away revealing a social liberal no longer in control of his party.

"Luke, I Am Your Father" ......."Luke, If I were your father I would have aborted you."

Is Sarah Palin really an Orion Slave Girl From Star Trek?

Okay, so Governor Palin's skin isn't green, but they're both from remote parts of the Universe and both pretty much only known for how hot they are.

Yeah, but can the Orion slave-girl handle an AK-47?

Is Ross Perot really a Ferengi?

Ferengi are annoying, short little aliens who cause trouble for the main characters in their schemes to make money. Ross Perot is basically Texas' Ferengi.

"I once screwed up Sisko's promotion.".......... "I screwed up George H.W. Bush's re-election."

Is John Murtha really a Xenomorph (from "Aliens")

One's a ruthless killing machine that really hates Marines. The other's a Xenomorph.

"I kill Marines for fun.".............................. "I accuse Marines of killing for fun."

Could You Get In Trouble for Shooting One of These Politicians To See If It's Really An Alien?

Most Likely, Yes.