Possession
Due to the recent success of Paranormal Activity. There is renewed interest in Possession. Expect to hear a lot of "real" possession stories in the next few months.
Just The Facts
- Apparently there's two types of Possession. Demonic and Spiritual. Yes, theres a difference.
- Possession can manifest itself by doors slamming, weird noises, unexplained moving.
- It could be the Wind.
- People who are possessed use this as an excuse to go Bat-shit.
Possession:Seeing the signs and getting the Fuck out of th/. . .getting help.
First and foremost. How to identify someone who is Possessed:
You walk into a room, he/she starts speaking gibberish and in tongues.
You walk into a room and he/she is able to twist his/her head around
"Honey?, Sarah's doing that thing again!".
You walk into a room he/she is crawling on the ceiling or hanging from the ceiling.
"So, um come here often?"
You walk into a room he/she is masturbating with a holy object/scratching messages into the wall.
You walk into the room and see all of the above.
How to get rid of possession.
Call a crazy-ass "Demonologist" to sort the problem. WARNING:He may just look at the possessed person/area and run away.
Call a crazy-ass Priest to Exorcise the demon/spirit. He will shout and say "Christ compels you!" a lot, I mean like 5x a minute. Also there's a good chance he'll die in the process.
Give the Demon/Spirit what it wants, this is usually you're Daughter,Wife or something like that.
Simply close a window or move house.
The Devil in Mrs.Jones.
Would you rather be possessed by a Demon or a Spirit?
Demonic possession manifests by making the possessed person cut themselves and generally look terrifying. Demon's can be more aggressive. Oooh scary. The person usually speaks like they've got a chicken in they're throat. They have great strength and can crawl on wall's for no reason. They usually just scare people and tell "God" to Fuck himself. Also they tend to defecate (Shit and pee) all over the place.
Spiritual Possession is a lot more enviromental in nature. Rather then straight out possessing a person, this instead opts to scare the victim using flickering lights, creaking and footsteps, unexplained shadows and a "presence" . All of the combined result in people crapping themselves and making numerous youtube videos.
Exorcism.
The Vatican has a dedicated team of Exorcist's. Whose job is to find Demon's and send them to hell!!!!
What you were thinking? Right?
More like this:Fighting Demons and chronic flatulence.
The priests use Holy water, Crosses, and the Bible to expel the Demon. During the Exorcist the priest reads passages from the "greatest lie ever told" and burns them with holy water. Also the priest sometimes burns the victim's forehead with a cross. There are documented cases of possession, but yet none of these document's have ever been produce. A funny thought:Is it really such a smart idea to leave a priest alone in a room with you're incapacitated child?
Cultural signifigance.
Numerous film's have been made about possession. The Exorcist being the most famous.
Cue creepy music.
The story shows a young girl possessed by the devil. To find out more read my Exorcist topic. The film was one of the scariest movies ever made. A true horror classic.
Possession.
Possession follows Isabele Adjani leaving her husband because of strange events caused by demonic forces. One word:Nipple.
The Exorcism of Emily Rose.
A more modern tale. The story follows Tom Wilkinson on trial for negligence on the part of Dexter's sister. The film was received well.
Tv.
There are many "Demonologist's" and Paranormal investigator's (READ:Kooks) such as Bob Larson. The Tv shows mainly have people gathering in a large room where the Pries/Demonologist/Kook tries to sell copies of his new book. Every now and again people in the audience start growling like they've rabies or some shit. The Priest/Demonologist/Kook slaps with bibles while shouting "Jesus this" and "Jesus that". Then the person suddenly stands up and is like, "i'm cured!".
Another Tv show and pet-hate of mine is "Most Haunted". The show follows this Bitch
and a group of retard's as they fumble around dark places with Night-Vision camera's. An average episode goes like this:
Bitch:(Standing in dark room) "Oh gosh, did you just hear that voice over there?"
Retard#1(Who was looking in the opposite direction and had no reaction at all) "Yeah, Yeah i heard it".
Retard#2(Also no reaction) "Yeah i heard it too".
Retard#3 "So did i!"
Cameraman(Who is wearing earphones) "Just as you said that i heard a spooky static noise in my earphones!"
Everyone:(Intake of breath)aaaahhh!
Bitch:"Oh my god did you see that white figure over there?"
(Everyone looks but the camera NEVER sees it in time)
That bitch claims to see more ghosts than Haley Joel Osment.
