Portal is a puzzle/action game by Valve software where the player makes dimensional holes and inserts themselves to complete puzzles.

We're just saying... Its a damn good game

Just The Facts

  1. Portal allows you to create holes in floors, ceilings and walls to travel and complete puzzels.
  2. The Aperture Science Research Facility is run by an AI program named GLADos (Pronounced "Gladice")
  3. The weighted Companion Cube cannot speak.


Portal is light on characters compared to other games. Where most have hordes of villains trying to kill you, Portal has a computer program that is testing you with the eventual reward of cake. You must find out if the cake is a lie.


Thanks to the internets, we know you play a woman named Chell; some poor sucker that wakes up in a room to catchy latin music and is the subject of an experiment. Thanks to portal Technology, she is also the only character in video game history that can check out her own ass.



Considering they try to fill you with more metal than the Titanic, the gun turrets in Portal are pretty friendly. They have nice freindly voices, ask nice friendly questions and fire hot lead at you.

Weighted Companion Cube


Anyone who has played Portal will get misty-eyed seeing this little fellow. He is loveable, thoughtful and a good listener. Sadly, he is also flammable at high temperatures.



GLADos stands for "Genetic Lifeform And Disc operating system". She likes your company, but still tries to kill you. She also forces you to do something awful to your companion Cube, so fuck her.